I guess at some point we all wanted to be Wonder Woman (I was really more of a Bionic Woman kind of gal). And we all wanted to disown our parents. But only Linday Lohan actually makes those dreams a reality. Fortunately most of us outgrew those yearnings… except maybe those of the gay male persuasion with a love of the American flag – to which I say, You go girl! But Lindsay? She’s way too young to be trying to relive her childish fantasies. Is she even 14 yet?

But Lohan says she’s desperate to play Wonder Woman in the forthcoming movie version – once played by the buxom Linda Carter on TV. Lohan says, “Wonder Woman would be cool. I’m trying to find roles right now that are different to anything I’ve done to show my abilities, to show that I have some sort of stretch in me. Because most of the things that I’ve done so far are aimed at younger girls and are light-hearted.” Yeah cause Wonder Woman is all tragic and shit. The next Blanche Dubois.

What IS tragic is Linday’s recent decision to cut all ties with her druggie father Michael because “he’s very self-destructive and it’s very difficult to deal with someone who has so much anger and bitterness.There were so many times in the past where he would just disappear for several days and make us worry and go frantic wondering what was going on. He’s out of all of our lives now, and that’s the way it must be.” I think she must want to use Wonder Woman’s magic lasso, invisible jet and bullet deflecting wrist bands against dad. Or at least against the paparrazi.

Unfortunately, she’ll have to judo-chop the role from the very pregant Katie Holmes who is the front runner in the rumor mill for the role. I think Katie will probably get the role, only because movie execs can see clearly that she needs the magic laso and invisble jet more than Lindsay. At some point she’ll want to tie up Tom Cruise with his gay lover and leave him for the authorities while she escapes in the jet with her alien baby. And maybe the wristbands to deflect spooky Thetans sent by L. Ron Hubbard.