Howard Stern should be my boyfriend because he’s an asshole. I guess I just have that smell.
And as he debuts on Sirius satalite radio this week (which I bought my road-comic boyfriend for Christmas this year even though he’s also an asshole), one has to wonder – when is he going to bang one of those chicks ON AIR and what will it sound like?
Wait.
Give me a minute.
I just got a little nausous.
(Puts head between legs)
Okay I’m fine now.
My point is Howard Stern not an attractive man. And on the ridiculous E! Television version of his radio show, he’s just a creepy guy who gets to tie Playboy Playmates to The Tickle Pole and dig his spidery fingers into their rib cages. In return, they get to plug their new “Two Blonds and a Blow Up Doll” DVD on post-10 p.m. television. No real or even interesting content.
Don’t get me wrong.
There’s a time and a place for porn and strippers. But this is RADIO. And even Maxim Radio (also on Sirius) has the good sense to mix a little comedy and sports in with their titilating conversations. Give the men what they want! Unfortunately, because Howard is on a crusade for “free speech,” the only way he can be truly shocking once again is to fuck ‘em while you and I listen. I’m pretty sure that’s not what most his fans want. The fact that that man is getting laid anyway is truly insulting.