Comedian Tracy Morgan is out pimping his new book, I Am The New Black, and the latest stop on the promo tour brought the over-the-top 30 Rock star to Playboy Magazine for a hilarious and potty-mouthed hour of Q&A.

This chat is definitely not for the young or faint of heart –but we’ll let you judge for yourself.


Playboy: Your stand-up includes a lot of jokes about anal sex. Are you talking about it just for shock value, or are you really a butt fiend?
Tracy: I like fucking ass! Ain’t nothin’ like the butthole. The ass is a delicacy, goddamn it. I’d put hot sauce on it. When you eat the brown hole, that’s when her toes do this. [sticks legs out and curls toes] You got to be willing to do anything to please your woman, to satisfy her. I didn’t invent it. You think I was the first one to think of having anal sex with a girl? Hell, no. I’m quite sure Adam fucked Eve in the ass. In the Garden of Eden he tore her ass up, and she was screaming like a motherfucker.

You’ve said you joined Saturday Night Live “as a puppy and left as a man.” How does working on a comedy-sketch show turn somebody into a man?
I’ve seen Saturday Night Live break people. If you can survive that, you can survive anything in show business. Anything. SNL makes you fucking tough as steel because when you get your sketch cut, there is no explanation. You just take that loss. There were plenty of nights when I appeared only to say good-bye at the end of the show.

Your best SNL characters, such as Brian Fellow and Astronaut Jones, were happy idiots. Do you think ignorance is sometimes bliss?
Ignorance is definitely bliss. It is always better not to know. I take that approach whenever I do stand-up. I think not having too much knowledge keeps you on your toes. I may have an idea of what I’m going to talk about onstage, but I don’t plan it out. That’s the beauty of it. Sometimes I surprise myself.

You frequently refer to SNL producer Lorne Michaels as your Obi-Wan Kenobi. Does he have special powers we don’t know about?
Yeah. Motherfucker took me out of the ghetto. That’s my dude, man. He’s been like a dad to me. I remember when I was on Saturday Night Live my first year and I wasn’t getting much. I was down; I was ready to quit. It was three o’clock in the morning, man, I’ll never forget. Makes me want to cry sometimes when I think about it. I love that man. I love that man. [long pause; starts to cry] I’m sorry, man. Excuse me. [another long pause] Son of a bitch… motherfucker’s good. I remember one time Lorne took me to his office, and he said, “Tracy, you are here not because you’re black. You’re here because you’re fucking funny, man.” [bursts into tears again; wipes face with shirt] Changed my whole perspective. I wasn’t so guarded anymore. I knew white people weren’t so fucked-up. I could’ve fallen into some dark shit, but he wouldn’t let me. I left his office, and I was crying for, like, two hours. It made all the difference to me, not just for my career but for my life. They say every Jewish man is supposed to love one black motherfucker in this life. I’m glad Lorne Michaels chose me.

A lot of SNL alumni try to take their characters to the big screen, not always successfully. Will we ever see Astronaut Jones: The Movie?
I’d never do a movie about any of the characters I did on SNL. That’s just not me. You should see the comedy that’s in my head. I’m gonna put Blanket in my movie, Michael Jackson’s son. I want to do a movie about Blanket as an older man. Your father named you Blanket, what the fuck you gonna do? That’s why motherfuckers grow up and start gangbanging. Motherfuckers in your neighborhood saying, “Yo, Blanket, what’s happening?” He’s 17 years old, what’s he going to say? “Yo, I told you my name’s Derrick! ” He’s got a hard road to climb. Talk about baggage.