5) Born on the Fourth of July (major downer)
4) Eyes Wide Shut (An incomprehensible mess from an ailing Stanley Kubrick)
3) Vanilla Sky (again, what does it all mean?)
2) Mission: Impossible (Impossible to follow)
1) Battlefield: Earth (oh, wait – that’s Travolta – I get those Scientology guys mixed up)

Five Best Tom Cruise Movies
5) Magnolia (Frank T.J. Mackey eerily resembles the real-life Cruise these days)
4) Days of Thunder (three words: Rubbin’ Is Racin!” And, Tom’s character is loosely based on a real NASCAR driver who died of AIDS.)
3) All the Right Moves (Oft-overlooked early effort featuring the lovely Lea Thompson)
2) Risky Business (the one that started it all for Tom)
1) COCKTAILS!! (Young Flannigan’s “Last Bar Room Poet” soliloquy ranks among cinematic history’s greatest achievements)