Tom Cruise will sue EVERYONE

Tom does not like you to talk smack. Or trash his movies. Or squirt water in his face. Or call him gay. Or make fun of his religion. Or call his relationship a sham.

For that reason, Tom has threatened to sue just about everyone over the last few months.
In October, Tom threatened to sue the satirical (which I recommend!) for making fun of his Scientologist ways. The site makes fun of Tom Cruise with unflattering archive television footage, videos and cartoons. The site says: “The site is purely satirical and is for entertainment. It contains no fact nor claims to do so and is completely non-commercial. The site clearly states in its header, ‘This site has absolutely no connection whatsoever with the Church of Scientology, it’s affiliated organizations or, needless-to-say, Tom Cruise’. It is designed for commentary and criticism within the limits of Free Speech.” In short: ITS A JOKE.

Last week, Tom threatened to sue biographer Andrew Morton for hiring a gay porn star to get to the bottom of Tom’s private life. Retired Los Angeles private investigator and former gay adult actor Paul Baressi will finally tell us all if Tom Cruise is gay. Not that I really care. But Tom seems to really care that people think he’s gay. Tom’s lawyers said: “I wrote a letter to Mr. Morton back in November and said he obviously was entitled to write the book but ‘make sure you check your facts’. If he tries to use my letter to create the impression that Mr. Cruise did have a gay affair, we will certainly sue… because the story is false. Mr. Cruise is not gay.” Methinks he protests too much.

This week it’s Life & Styles cover story stating that sources close to the couple say their relationship is “essentially over” and that they are keeping up the pretense until the baby is born. Again, lawyer to the rescue: “This is a disgusting and malicious story. It is unequivocally false and I have already demanded a retraction. I will be sitting down with Tom in the next couple of days to discuss this story, and ultimately it’s his call as to whether we bring a lawsuit. But if it was up to me, I would sue.” Life & Style stand by their story 100%. On the other hand, Tom stands 100% with his gay ass by his fake girlfriend and reserves the right to jump on couches and call you glib.

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