Tiger Woods Divorce From Elin Nordegren Finalized In Florida Courtroom

Great news for Tiger Woods’ penis. The womanizing golfer has finalized his divorce from long-suffering wife Elin Nordegren. Yay, strippers, cocktail waitresses, and pornstars, rejoice! Free lapdances for all!

Both Elin, 30, and Tiger, 34, were reportedly present at the Bay County Circuit Court in Panama City, Florida on Monday morning as their six-year union was dissolved, ending months of rumors that followed Woods’ almost career-ending sex scandal. The Woods Clan found themselves on the working side of the headlines when Tiger was accused of bedding more than a dozen women — and Elin was accused of causing a car crash when she attacked him with a golf club — in a far-reaching scandal that dominated the news in late 2009.

“Elin Nordegren and Tiger Woods confirmed today that they have divorced. Judgment was entered today in Bay County (Florida) Circuit Court dissolving the marriage,” the law firm of McGuireWoods confirmed. “The judgment provides for shared parenting of their two children”

The former couple released a joint statement as the story hit news wires early Monday afternoon:

“We are sad that our marriage is over and we wish each other the very best for the future. While we are no longer married, we are the parents of two wonderful children and their happiness has been, and will always be, of paramount importance to both of us. Once we came to the decision that our marriage was at an end, the primary focus of our amicable discussions has been to ensure their future well-being. The weeks and months ahead will not be easy for them as we adjust to a new family situation, which is why our privacy must be a principal concern.”

Settlement details have not been disclosed, but various reports say Elin could walk away with more than $100 million in assets.

Tiger and Elin will share custody of their two kids, Sam Alexis, 3, and one-year-old Charlie Axel.

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