I’ve been steadily single and loving it for close to two years now. In that time, I’ve packed my schedule full to the brim with double work shifts on weekends and drinks with friends after, spontaneous travel, three part-time jobs during the week, including nightly tutoring sessions, and reading 40 or so books a year. I also run a daily (ish) blog.
When I look back over the past two years I think, “when the hell would I have had time to be in a relationship??” Sometimes, it’s best to turn off your love life and work on yourself. That’s sort of a no-brainer. But there are also major perks associated with being single and lovin’ it.
Travel plans are so much easier
In the past two years I’ve traveled to Portland, Maine, Boston, Alaska, San Francisco, and next year, I’m planning one to New Orleans. These travel plans are short, local, spontaneous, easily organized and the best yet, they’re all for me and my friends. I never have to clear my travel plans with a partner, or turn down plans because they can’t get time off. If the opportunity arises to go anywhere with anyone, I can take it, no problem.
Binge-drinking is SOP
Binge-drinking in a relationship, even if you’re drinking with your person, is just fundamentally more complicated. Girls’ nights are a luxury when you’re dating someone, and drinking too much just invites trust issues and situations that I know my partner wouldn’t be comfortable with, because I probably wouldn’t be comfortable with my partner getting drunk and hit on at a bar. Single girls and guys can drink to excess totally guiltlessly, and see where the night takes you.
You have alone time
My friends and family in relationships always savor their small minutes of alone time, whether it’s the hour before their partner comes home from work or when their S.O.s are out with buddies. I have all the alone time I want (sometimes too much of it) and as an introvert, it lends me peace and focus.
You can be so selfish and no one cares
A singleton can do whatever he/she/it wants without fear of hurting someone you love. Want to move to London for work? You can just pick up and leave. Do you work long hours? No worries. As a single person, you can focus on your career and make every single decision based solely on what’s best for you. Without the pressure of having to live up to certain expectations your partner may have, whether they’re financial or about your tandem future together, you can be totally self-indulgent and you won’t be harming anyone.
All of the hobbies
I have two major hobbies: guacamole and historical fiction. As a single gal, I can indulge those hobbies to my heart’s content. I don’t have to care about some guy’s grilling obsession, or how to get out of fishing at 4 a.m. on Saturday morning when I’d rather be nursing a hangover or inside with a book (and a burrito). I get to do me, and I do it right.
When you’re single, you have the opportunity to really think about what you want in a partner. Since you’re obviously so happy being single and independent, it’s good to think about what kind of person you’re willing to sacrifice all this freedom for. Serial monogamists tend to go from relationship to relationship without much deep thought; when you’re a longterm singleton, you have the opportunity to get to know yourself on a deep level. It’s invaluable, and the best part of being single.