We know that a first date can be nerve wracking. You’re looking to make a great first impression and it can be really hard to know what to say and what to do. However, there are some definite deal killers on the average first date and with that in mind – we bring you a definitive list of things you should never do on a first date.
Don’t Start Boasting
While discussing things you’ve achieved is part of a date; telling your date over and over how something makes you better than other people is a serious turn off. You’re supposed to be demonstrating your ability to be a good partner rather than your ability to conquer worlds – turn down the self-love and ask more questions.
Don’t Pass Wind
There’s a time and a place to fart and it’s not on your first date. Yes, everybody farts but the truth is that most people aren’t comfortable with that particular bodily function and letting off a loud fart is not endearing. If you really have to pass wind; go the bathroom and let rip there.
Don’t Fall Silent
First dates need to be conversational. If you fall into silence for a moment; it’s OK but if that silence goes on too long – it starts to feel really awkward. Awkward is not a good sign on a first date; it signals that you don’t even find that person interesting enough to make the effort to talk to them. There’s unlikely to be a second date after that.
Don’t Get Your Phone Out and Play With It Constantly
You go on a date to be with them. You don’t go on a date to be with your Facebook buddies, your Twitter followers and work colleagues via e-mail. There is nothing ruder than someone who spends the whole of their time face down over their smartphone. It doesn’t make you appear interesting; it makes you look like a selfish idiot.
Don’t Regale Your Date With Your Sexual History
While within a mature relationship there will come a time to talk about your sexual past; the first date isn’t that time. There is no good way to bring this up on a first date at all. If you put a high figure on the number of previous partners – you look cheap. If you put a low figure on it – you look like someone who simply can’t get laid and your date starts wondering what’s wrong with you. Leave it alone.
Don’t Bring Up Your Commitment Phobia
There is a service for commitment free dating today; it’s called Tinder. Swipe right often enough and you should be able to find someone who is up for a quickie. An actual date, however, is about finding somebody for more than a quickie. Announcing your commitment phobia is essentially telling the date that you’d enjoy a quickie but don’t find them interesting enough for a long-term fling.
Don’t Start Being Clingy
First dates are exploratory. It’s time to get to know each other. It is not time to stake out your ownership of your date and reveal your deep neediness. It’s fine to be keen on a first date; it’s a bad idea to start explaining what the rest of your life together would look like. It’s too soon. Seriously, don’t do it.
Don’t Give Your Date a Pet Name
Your date is not a pet. You don’t know them well enough to treat them like your pet. Use their actual given name and don’t start calling them “baby” or *shudder* “bae”. You develop affectionate names for someone across the course of a relationship and not on the first night you go out to dinner.
Don’t Be a Tightwad
In general it’s best to offer to pay on a date and see how the other person reacts. It’s OK to split the check if you want to but it’s not cool to start rifling through your wallet/purse in search of discount coupons or to start itemizing the bill so that you can make your date pay for their more expensive drinks.
Don’t Be a Spendthrift Either
Money can become intimidating on a first date. Don’t order three bottles of champagne, the foie gras and the caviar. Keep things proportional. It’s not that you shouldn’t treat the person you like spectacularly but there comes a point on a first date where that looks like you’re trying to buy them rather than build a relationship.
Don’t Drone on About Work
It’s a good idea to let the other party know what you do for a living. It’s a bad idea to focus the whole night around what Angela in accounting is doing with Gordon in IT. Your date doesn’t work with you and they pretty much don’t care about the intimate details of your office. Even worse is the person who explains the intricacies of what exactly it is that they do; unless your date is also a database administrator they don’t care and if they are a database administrator too – they’ve already heard enough about this at work.
Don’t Let Your Head Turn
Want to kill any chance of a relationship on a first date? Start checking out other men/women and comment on how hot they are. This is about the stupidest thing you can do on a first date but in our experience – people still do it.
Don’t Be Stinky
That means don’t turn up without having a shower because nobody likes to date dirty people. It also means don’t pour so much aftershave or perfume on that you smell like you’ve been sponsored by the manufacturer. There’s a happy mid-point which will impress your date that you’ve made an effort rather than leaving them retching.
Don’t Eat Off Your Date’s Plate
It’s OK to try a little bit of their food, if they offer it to you. It’s not OK to go face down in your date’s plate because their meal is better than yours. If you’re not keen on your food – eat it anyway; you chose it and you deal with the consequences.
Don’t Get Smashed
A drink or two is a great idea, assuming your partner also drinks. Twelve drinks, on the other hand, is a sucky idea. Nobody enjoys a date which degenerates into their partner slurring their words and then dashing off to be sick. Keep it casual rather than “shore leave”.