When companies want to take their movie properties to the small screen, but can’t keep on the original actors, or match the special effects budgets of the original, they often turn to cartoons. You just get a couple of voice actors who sound vaguely like the originals, and get all the animation done by starving Koreans. That way the budgets is the same, regardless if it takes place in New York, or deep space. Plus, you can market it to kids, and they’ll watch any crap, right? Even if your property was originally strictly adult, just put a family friendly coat on it, through in some multicultural token characters, and you’ll make bank! Or, more accurately, you’ll make shit. Like these 12 examples.

12. Back To The Future: The Animated Series

Considering how low budget the animation was for this show, it was backed by some pretty serious talent. It had live action bookends, starring Christopher Lloyd, and with Bill Nye doing experiments. Biff and Clara from the movie both returned to do voiced on the cartoon. That’s some pretty serious talent for a crappy kid’s show based on a movie. In an attempt to appeal to a younger demographic, the cartoon more or less ditched Marty, instead focusing on Doc’s kids: Jules and Verne. And the DeLorean was somehow back. And could take them anywhere, and anywhen. And was voice activated. And could fold into a suitcase. So, standard cartoon stuff, more or less. Silly time travel, a facade of educational content, and hijinks.

11. Kong: The Animated Series

In the decades between the dreadful 80s King Kong and the Peter Jackson remake a few years back, someone let the property get spun off into a cartoon — one which made the movies seem realistic by comparison. It starred a clone of King Kong and his human friends, attempting to track down 13 Primal Stones in order to defeat a mad scientist, and stop the unlocking of a demon. That’s right, demon. Not only that, but Kong was mind linked with the hero of the show, allowing the two to merge into either Mega Kong, who was even larger, stronger, and knew martial arts, or into the hero’s body, so they could transport Kong easily. I’m not quite sure how they went from “giant ape marauds around New York” to “mystical battle between good and evil over fate of Earth”, but I want some of what they’re smoking.

10. Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventures

Another series that managed to get some pretty heavy hitters on board, at least for the first season. Continuing the only role in which he’s ever shown emotion, Keanu Reeves voiced Bill, and Alex Winter and George Carlin were both on-board too. They continued to have grossly historically inaccurate trips across the timeline, in order to make sure that events happened when they were meant to. While History Majors doubtless had seizures from watching it, it got even worse on the second season, when ownership switched to DIC. The actors all changed, animation got worse, and now they could travel into books, television shows, and into the human body.

9. Highlander: The Animated Series

By my count, the Clan MacLoed has produced at least four immortals: Conner MacLoed (from the original movies), Duncan MacLoed (from the tv show), Colin MacLoed (from the anime), and Quentin MacLoed (from the cartoon). There’s something in that Scottish water, I swear. Being a kid’s show (and having a budget counted in nickels), the animated series forwent the most crucial part of the whole Highlander mythos: decapitations. Instead, it took place in a post-apocalyptic world, where all the immortals (barring the bad guy) had sworn to pacifism in order to preserve humanity’s knowledge, and they then “share” it with young Quentin by both grasping the same sword. That’s right, they osmose the information, which Quentin uses to try and defeat the big bad. The series had some promise, but was far to weighed down in trying to keep things kid friendly.

8. Little Shop

This is where this list really starts to take a turn for the worse, where we go from okay and occasionally humorous, to absolutely horrible and unfunny. Little Shop, a prequel to Little Shop of Horrors, but without any of the horror. Junior is now a pre-historic plant, which can rap. That’s right, it’s a musical, starring a giant, rapping, talking, hypnotising, venus fly trap. And now he doesn’t eat meat, so no murder either. Just lots of hamfisted stories about a 12-year old nerd, the girl he pines for, and a neighborhood bully. Each and every episode made sure to hammer home a special lesson that cartoons always do so poorly.

7. The Mask, Dumb and Dumber, Ace Ventura

What could be more annoying than Jim Carrey’s stupid catchphrases and slapstick? Having someone else try and emulate them in a cartoon. Three shows, based on three barely mediocre films starring Carrey. Three different actors attempting to do his schtick, and just coming across utterly insufferably. These shows completely lost the already limited charms of the films they were based on, and instead just tried to amp up the “zany” mishaps and hijinks, without any regard for, you know, humor. Somehow Ace Ventura and The Mask both lasted three seasons, but we can remain thankful that Dumb and Dumber only went on for one.

6. Police Academy: The Series

What do you do with a set of movies known for raunchy comedy, nudity, drug use, and general neglect for authority? Make a children’s cartoon from them! And cut out all the good parts, like everything mentioned above, hire poor imitations of the original actors, and add a squad of talking police dogs. It always struck me as bizarre that you would take a set of movies so obviously not aimed at young kids, and make a Saturday morning cartoon out of them. Sure, it was the 80s, and everyone was much more chilled about nudity, but I really don’t get how this project ever got off the ground. Where they expecting to pull in kids who had seen the movies? Or stoners who were somehow up at 8AM on a Saturday morning. The Venn Diagram for that has to be pretty small.

5. Spaceballs: The Animated Series

God-fucking-damnit, Mel Brooks, what is this shite? You used to be the funniest writer on screen or stage, and now you let this happen? Ugh, I expected so much more. The entire freaking show was animated worse than a Newsgrounds Flash video from 2002, and was so puerile 12-year olds were bored by it. Non-stop poorly done T&A jokes make up almost the entire series, with Star Wars prequel skits that were well past their use-by date long before the show debuted. Instead of razor-sharp comedic timing, and brilliantly crafted word-play and slapstick, it’s just tripe. I had such huge hopes for this series, which Brooks dashed, leaving me forever bitter.

4. Star Wars: Ewoks and Droids

For all that George Lucas has done right, he’s done just as much wrong. Time after time, Lucas is his own worst enemy, ruining the very empire he founded. Ewoks were the most reviled and annoying characters in Star Wars (until Jar Jar Binks, anyway), yet Lucas decided they were perfect for a cartoon — one with magic, giants, fairies, monsters, and witches. Pretty much anything from Smurfs or Gummi Bears was used. We can at least partly blame this show’s existence on two TV movies about Ewoks that Lucas made, which were somehow successful. Droids was a cringeworthy show, chronicling, in poorly animated fashion, the adventures of R2-D2 and C-3P0 in the time between ep III and IV. It had Anthony Daniels doing C-3P0’s voice, which was pretty cool, but was otherwise a clusterfuck of suck. You think Lucas would have learned after the Christmas Special.

3. Stargate Infinity

Want to see someone go from fanboy to full rage mode in about one second? Ask a Stargate junkie about Stargate Infinity. From the starting music, you know it sucks, and from there it only goes downhill. Set in the year 2025, a Stargate team are framed by shapeshifters, who opened Earth’s gate to let in their invading comrades. The team then ventures around the universe, gathering evidence to clear their name, and learning about other cultures! Learning! Yay! Christ, what a crapfest. The character designs embody the worst of early 2000’s cartoon styles, with unnecessary angles and stupid haircuts everywhere.

2. Chuck Norris: Karate Kommandos

I don’t care what the internet says, Chuck Norris if a flaming dickhead. He’s racist, homophobic, believes the second coming is just around the corner, and that Texas should start a revolution. I know everyone loves to wank over his beard and roundhouse kicks, but that doesn’t make him any less of a prat. Karate Kommandos was a vanity project, casting Chuck Norris with a team of “ethnically diverse” heroes — all of whom were the worst sort of stereotype. Not really surprising, that. Of course, every episode had to end with a monologue from Chuck, explaining the hamfisted morals of the story, because the only children who watched it were those too stupid to understand it for themselves.

1. Rambo and the Forces of Freedom

How did this get made into a cartoon? I can accept that every Rambo film after the first completely changed the character. No longer a mentally disturbed vet, constantly freaking out and terrified, he became a one-man killing machine. How does that make a cartoon — especially in the 80s, when death wasn’t allowed, and morality tales were required? Forces of Freedom was essentially a GI Joe clone, right down to the competing black/white ninja. Each episode had a lesson for the kids, violence was only used as a last resort, and no-one got hurt. Just like the R-Rated movies! YAY!