The 10 Best Things About Being Single, Ranked
Being in a relationship is wonderful, but that doesn’t mean that being single should include ice cream and self-pity. (I mean, ice cream should definitely be included in every stage of life.) Being single comes with major perks that tend to be overlooked by single people who just want to find a partner to grow old with. There are just some things single people can do with much more ease and reckless abandon than people in relationships can. So it’s time to celebrate the single life! Like…
10. You get to spend every holiday with your own family.
Holidays are stressful enough what with traveling, staying at your parents, and seeing dozens of cousins you never knew even existed. Being single means you only have your own crazy family to deal with, and don’t have to shuttle back and forth between the Eves and the Days and can just plant yourself on a couch and hope your great-aunt stops interrogating you about your marital status.
9. Your finances.
Having an S.O. is mad expensive, what with all of the dates, dinners, movie nights, anniversaries and birthdays to buy presents for! Being single means saving up all that money. That is, if you’re not spending it on tequila shots every night with your buds.
8. Shameless flirting.
Flirting is always fun, but flirting when you’re single is guilt-free fun!
7. Binge-eating around the clock.
Want to polish off that jar of pickles and those stale chips? Add ice cream? Go for it, dude. There’s no one to judge you.
6. Going out too much.
Bar-hopping and clubbing when you’re in a relationship is definitely more complicated than doing it when you’re single. Your single status means there’s no one making you feel guilty for wanting a night out with your friends, or thinking the worst when you stay out too late. The world is your sweaty, house-music oyster with overpriced drinks.
5. Never shaving.
Whether it’s your face or your legs, there’s absolutely no reason when you’re single to not let that beastly hair grow. Eventually you may look like a woolly mammoth, but hey, who’s lookin’?
4. Major life decisions.
Making tough decisions about your future is so much easier when you only have to worry about yourself. Without a significant other, there’s no reason why you can’t move to England for a year, or quit your job to take a world tour. The choices are entirely your own, and you don’t have to feel guilty for being selfish.
3. Wearing the grossest clothes.
My pajamas are eternally stained with cheese dust. And that’s how I like them.
2. All of the television.
No sharing the remote control, which means you can inhale every season of Orange Is The New Black without someone whining at you to change the channel. Wanna binge Always Sunny or New Girl? Only you control your destiny.
1. Necessary bodily functions.
No need to hide your embarrassing flatulence or find a time to go to the bathroom so your S.O. won’t suspect what you’re doing. When you gotta go, you gotta go. Number one best reason to be single, IMO.