“Law & Order: CI” Rips Broadway’s “Spider-Man” From The Headlines

Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark — known in some circles as Spider-Man: Somebody Call a Paramedic! — is getting the “Ripped From the Headlines” by the writers of Law & Order: Criminal Intent.

You didn’t think Dick Wolf would let this one inch by, did you?

Boasting a score penned by U2′s Bono and The Edge and a budget of $70 million, Spider-Man is not only the most expensive show ever to hit Broadway — it’s also earned a well-deserved reputation as one of the most trouble-prone. The reviews are awful, the storyline bears little resemblance to the classic source material, the delays have pushed the official opening farther and farther into oblivion — and did we mention the bevy of cast injuries?

It’s all perfect script fodder for L&O bosses, who have been using real-life headlines to craft their fictional storylines since the crime drama debuted on NBC way back in The Stone Age. Also known as 1990. In addition to the Spider-Man-inspired episode, the procedural has also signed Jay Mohr to guest as a Charlie Sheen-like actor with a reputation for cocaine benders and a penchant for call girls.

According to press reports, the Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark-inspired episode is about a “high-flying, fast-crashing show called Icarus,” during which actor is killed during the production, the director is a high-strung born-again drunk and the composer is a bisexual rock star.

The 10th season of Criminal Intent, which may be its last, premieres this Sunday, May 1 on USA.

Turn Off the Dark previews will resume May 12. The show is now scheduled to open June 14.