Some Poor Schmuck’s Girlfriend Left Him For Her Creepy ‘Puppet Children’

Dumped for Puppets

A newly single guy in Pennsylvania was recently dumped after he told his girlfriend to choose him or her 16 creepy puppets. April Brucker refers to her puppets as her “children” so the choice to choose her stuffed friends was an easy decision.

Brucker, who Metro describes as a singer/model/writer, wants to take her “children” on trips around the world. Apparently her boyfriend fell immediately in love with her and asked if they could get married after just three dates, perhaps one-upping Brucker on the crazy barometer.

According to the recently separated boyfriend:

At one point she dumped the dolls, but says soon after she realized she was ashamed of the decision – concluding they were ‘her children’ so gave him the boot instead.

The singer, model and writer said: ‘Yes, they are expensive, but if they need things, they need things.

‘I will go without clothes for them. I’m a parent – that’s what you do.’

The doll crazed lady goes so far as to purchase airfare for her 16 doll children.

Here’s a shot of Brucker and her kids:

Brucker says that unlike her ex, her puppets give her something no human ever could — unadulterated joy. “They have never disappointed me. Like men have,” she adds.

Dumped for 16 puppets? Perhaps dating isn’t the best decision for her ex-boyfriend.

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James Vanderhoff
James Vanderhoff is a former editor at