Simon Van Kempen, “Real Housewives Of NYC” Husband, Releases Debut Single

Simon Van Kempen’s new single sounds like a Lady Gaga song that Snooki and The Situation would fist pump to in a drunken stupor…

It’s no “Money Can’t Buy You Class,” but Real Househubby Simon Van Kempen is infiltrating (Or infecting, depending on who’s talking) the Pop World with the release of his debut single.

No, really.

Simon, the Brooklynite married to Real Housewives of New York City star Alex McCord, has set out to prove that the Ladies of Bravo aren’t the only ones with a microphone and the vocal talent of a limp noodle and a broken toaster. On Thursday, the chippery dad rolled out the red carpet for the iTunes debut of “I Am Real,” an uptempo Night at the Roxbury-esque tune that now rivals Heidi Montag’s 2008 stinkbomb “Higher” for the title of “Worst Song Performed By a Reality Star…Ever.”

On the cheesy single, uploaded to YouTube, Van Kempen, “sings” about life on the show and whines about the “bitchy and bossy” Housewives(aka “Cheeky Tongue Waggers”) talking about him on Twitter. Dude, what grade are you in? Cry us a river, Sim. On second thought, don’t. You might be inspired to sing about that too.

If you want to defile your iPod, “I’ is available for $.99 on Apple iTunes. In the meantime, watch Countess LuAnn show him how camp is done!

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