The View co-host Sherri Shepherd weaves a tale of abusive relationships, family drama, depression, and several abortions in the new issue of Precious Times Magazine, a publication designed for Christian women of color.

“In 1993, my mother was dying from diabetic complications. My sister was heavy into drugs, and we would have to go and get her from crack houses. I was in a very physically abusive relationship. I was sleeping with a lot of guys and had more abortions than I would like to count,” Shepherd told the magazine. “I had very low self-esteem and just wanted to die. I felt if someone killed me, it wouldn’t even make a difference. But God showed me that it would make a difference.”

The revealing interview isn’t the first time the former Jehovah’s Witness opened up about her personal life. Sherri was engaged in a very public split with husband Jeff Tarpley, who cheated on the 41 year-old comedienne and got another woman pregnant.