I guess “American Pie,” “American Pie 2″ and “Van Wilder” weren’t enough to get Tara Reid remembered. Watch the video as she gets denied entry into the cool club. It’s OK, Tara. You can always go find a nice alley to drink nail polish in. Oh, but Paris gets in - and she didn’t even have to “work” at fame. Maybe you should scrogg some scrub in night vision and you’ll be remembered again, yes?

Or you could stop dressing like the bag lady who owns 10 cats. But hey, don’t let me tell you how to run your life. You just might want to stay away from the Thunderbird for a while. Because right now, you kind of sound like the obnoxious rag girlfriend of the d-bag frat dude who claims every guy is trying to feel you up right before you vomit in the sink.

I hear they’re making direct to video sequels of “American Pie” now. Maybe you could do that, and teenage boys will remember you again … and not just for the boob slip video. Hey, you gotta work in your market.