We’ve officially heard it all: Jersey Shore drunkard Pauly D is now the spokesman of family friendly confectionery chain Baskin Robbins.

What’s next — Heidi & Spencer as the surgically-altered new faces of IHOP?

Fist-pumping on national television and bagging strange broads in a hot tub was all it took to convince the folks at 31 Flavors that the spikey-haired spinner-turned-reality star would be the ideal role model to front their nationally-respected brand.

We wonder what kind of flavors he’ll be endorsing. Herpes-Havin’ Hazelnut, maybe? How about STDs & Strawberry Cheesecake with Sprinkles?

Just chalk it up the latest sign of the Apocalypse — but we strongly suggest Baskin Robbins starts disinfecting all utensils, countertops, and promotional materials pronto. You have no idea where those lips and hands have been!

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