Paris Hilton’s promised prison chronicles have hit the Net…Well, not exactly. A blogger has created a parody page giving commentary as said blogger believe Parasite herself would. Hmmm. We smell another of Paris’ famed “Take It Down Or We’ll Sue You” threats coming on.

Paris Hilton’s Prison Diary is a parody published online. The Prison Diary is strictly an online spoof.

We promise, anytime she does time, we will be here everyday of that time.

Here’s a sample:

Dear Diary:

Candy Spelling is so hateful, so vile, so repulsive … you know dear diary, that must be the most awful thing in the world to end up like Candy Spelling. To be a mother to children who tolerate you because you control THEIR FATHER’S MONEY.

Poor Tor got like a fraction of one percent of her father’s wealth. Her mother practically had her disinherited. I think it is like one sixteenth of ONE PERCENT. Now Tor has to put up with her … for the MONEY.

OMG, OMG … if anyone every wondered even for a nano-second why Tor does not get along with her mother read her newest, nastiest letter to … Joe Francis. Tor has already called about a million people to apologize. First, she had to apologize for the letter about me and now this.

If it weren’t for the money … which her mother viciously cut her out of she would so NOT have anything to do with her mother.

Here’s part Creepy Candy’s letter:

Your world has changed, and you’re the poster boy for what can happen when boys go wild. Your every move and every emotion are still being reported, but not the way you want. It’s time for some dignity. At least it might prevent you from being forever defined as a crybaby.

Sincerely,
Candy Spelling

Well, is there anyone witchier? Candy Spelling is totally the Wickedest Witch of the West. Since she has been forever defined as a complete bitch I guess she’s an expert on defining other people. She better get back on her horomone replacement therapy.

Well, dearest diary, Joe fired back and he mentioned me! It was a totally HOT letter and here it is:

Dear Candy:

I don’t know you, I have never met you and I don’t know anything about you. After reading your letter posted on the internet, my mental picture of you is of a lonely old woman living in a mansion in Holmby Hills with let’s say 300 cats jumping around, some in their own feces.I have tried to think to myself what would compel a woman such as yourself to write a letter to someone they have never met? Even worse, you are making up your mind based on headlines.

I can understand you writing Paris Hilton a letter out of care because as you said in your letter, you have known her most of her life. Then again, it’s sad and pathetic you had the audacity to post that letter on the internet instead of just sending it to Paris personally.

Candy, you don’t know any of the facts concerning my situation. I am a hardworking, compassionate and honest person. I will prevail just as I have in the past because overcoming adversity is not only a part of the entrepreneurial experience but a part of life. You should appreciate this and know this more than anyone and I am ashamed of you for forgetting how hard it is to make it in this world and the people who would love to tear you down because you have. Sadly, it appears you have become one of those people.Contrary to what you have said in your letter, my world has not changed. My business Girls Gone Wild is thriving and posted record sales last month. Most important, my friends and my family (I love you guys….) have stood by me. This whole situation will be over soon and I will be standing strong.

I have never played a victim but I have always been a fighter. I will ultimately prevail in the matters at hand but I am concerned that you will die a lonely and unfulfilled person playing with those cats and posting open letters to people you have never met on the internet.

Sincerely,
Joe Francis

Go Joe! Candy Spelling is so totally NUTZ.

Go Joe! Candy Spelling is so totally NUTZ.

Go Joe! Candy Spelling is so totally NUTZ.

Go Joe! Candy Spelling is so totally NUTZ.

XXX000XXX000XXX0000 to Joe!

Paris H!