Just call him Dr. Ozzy! Rolling Stone has commissioned rock n’ roll’s Prince of Darkness — Black Sabbath legend Ozzy Osbourne — to serve as the publication’s new health expert.
The former addict has abused every vice from alcohol to heroin and almost always seems to have one foot in the grave. Nonetheless, always gory and good-natured, Ozzy credits his resilence with keeping his body strong and her hopes to school music fans on what he knows about the business of health and wellness. After all, the “Dreamer” hitmaker is already a part-time health columnist for England’s Sunday Times.
“At one point I was knocking back four bottles of cognac a day, blacking out, coming to again, and carrying on,” he continues. “While filming The Osbournes I was also shoving 42 types of prescription medication down my neck, morning, noon and night â€” and that was before all the dope I was smoking in my “safe” room, away from the cameras. Meanwhile, I used to get through cigars like they were cigarettes. I’d even smoke them in bed,” Ozzy confesses. “I suppose when people hear stories like that, they might think I’m too much of a bad example to give advice. I wouldn’t argue with them â€” and I’d hate for anyone to think: “Oh, if Ozzy survived all that outrageous behavior, so can I,’” he says.
“By all accounts, I’m a medical miracle. When I die, I should donate my body to the Natural History Museum. If people can learn from my stupid mistakes without having to repeat any of them, or if they can take some comfort from the crazy things my family has been through over the years, or if just hearing me talk about colonoscopies makes them less embarrassed about getting tested for colon cancer, that’s more than enough for me.,” says Oz.
Sidebar: Ozzy is donating his body to research. Sorta. The mystery of how Osbourne managed not to kil himself with decades of drug and alcohol abuse may finally be solved. The 61-year-old former Black Sabbath lead singer has reportedly agreed to have his full genome sequenced by a team of scientists in Britain.
On a final note Ozzy adds: “One last thing: being a hypochondriac, I’ll never tell someone to just stop worrying and/or come back later if their symptoms get worse. In Dr Ozzy’s surgery, everything will get taken seriously.”
Got a nagging health issue that requires some insight? Ask Ozzy! Rolling Stone invites fans to post their questions for the rocker’s consideration. Select questions will be published in the mag on July 23, Aug. 6, or Aug. 20.