New nose equals new job for Ashlee Simpson

With her new nose, new boyfriend, and back-to-basics all-American blonde locks, Ashlee Simpson is slowly morphing into her arguably prettier big sis, Jess.

I admit, I’ve always preferred Ashlee to Jessica. She’s mildly intelligent, her music doesn’t make me want to swallow a bottle of ibuprofen, and she was on one of the best shows EVER, 7th Heaven. Have you ever watched that shit?? HILARIOUS.

Anyway, NYDN has this to say about Ashlee:

West Coast spies say she’s selling her Encino home to move in with boyfriend Braxton Olita. (Young Braxton, who plays guitar in her shows, has also graduated from sleeping in the band tour bus to bedding down in Ashley’s own private coach, I hear.) She ought to be able to afford some flashy new digs. It will soon be announced that the 21-year-old will front the campaign for Victoria’s Secret’s new line, Pink. She beat out finalist Kelly Clarkson to become the face (and hips and legs and … well, everything else) of the new line of younger, “cuter” lingerie.

Finally, anyone with a ticket to her sold-out concert at the Borgata tonight is in for a special treat: Plans are afoot for her big sis, Jessica, to join her onstage for a “surprise” duet.

Now that Jess’s divorce is finalized, Daddy Joe must be focusing on the littlest Simpson. I, for one, am looking forward to seeing the new and exciting ways he plans to sell his daughter’s mind, body, and soul for his own personal gain.

Looks like we’ll be seeing a lot more Ashlee and a lot less Jess in the months to come. Let’s just hope we’re hearing less from both of them.