Mike Huckabee Wishes He Could’ve Lied To Get Away With Peeking At Girls Showering

If Mike Huckabee can't shower with girls, neither can you -- even if you're a woman yourself.

Mike Huckabee spoke this year at the National Religious Broadcasters Convention, and thanks to WND, the video of his speech has re-surfaced. In it, he talks about transgender rights — specifically, about how if there had been rights for transgender people when he was in school, he would have enjoyed lying and claiming to be transgender, so that he could watch the girls shower.

This says far more about Mike Huckabee than it says about transgender people or transgender rights.

The video is below. He opens talking about his musical talent and military service, segueing into the necessity for Americans to ‘get involved’ and put an end to Islamic terrorism. After a quick Hitler reference, he moves on to explaining that jihad continues because America’s leaders won’t admit that this is a religious war on Christians and Jews.

That’s when he moves on to the religious freedom of American Christians. Obamacare, Hobby Lobby, birth control. He calls on the people to demand that the government put more belief in God (presumably his particular version of God.)

At around the 15 minute mark, he really gets into how American Christians face terrible discrimination: like, if they own a public business, they have to do business with the public, and they have to accept that other Americans have different beliefs.

The first clear, outright lie (at 15:45) is that churches are being forced to host “…any type of wedding that comes your way.” The most basic uderstanding of constitutional law tells us that churches can never be forced to do any such thing. Churches (unlike Justices, who are government employees, not religious institutuions) can’t be forced to perform a marriage for an interracial couple, an atheist couple, a couple of a different Christian denomination, a couple who engaged in premarital sex. Pastors may refuse to perform marriages on any basis.

He spends a minute or so listing things that never killed anyone when he was in school, like Christmas parties and pop-tarts.

Then, at 18:20, he hits transgender rights. According to Mike Huckabee, it is now illegal in America to be offended if a man (by which he seems to actually mean an assigned-male-at-birth transgender woman) enters a female bathroom. Illegal to be offended? Where? He must mean the ordinances allowing a transgender woman to use the restroom in which she feels safe — but there’s nobody denying his right to be offended. Be offended to the moon and back, but don’t think your offense trumps human rights.

Then he gets to the real root: jealousy.

I wish someone had told me when I was in high school that I could’ve felt like a woman when it came time to take showers in gym class.

Well, there it is. Mike Huckabee is jealous of trans women because they get to shower with women.

I’m pretty sure I would’ve found my feminine side and said, Coach, I think I’d like to shower with the girls today.

So apparently the rule is that if Mike Huckabee can’t shower with the girls, nobody can? Huckabee didn’t get the oportunity to be a perv in high school, so it’s a good idea to deny basic rights to transgender people who are at a particularly high risk of sexual assault.

Mike Huckabee didn’t get to peek at naked girls after gym class, so transgender people should be subject to policies that increase that risk.

Welcome to Mike Huckabee’s America: if he can’t be a perv, you can’t have rights.

About The Author
Steph Bazzle
Steph Bazzle is a homeschooling mom who likes to write about justice, equality, and religious issues.