Michael Lohan is alive and kicking — despite what you might have read on Twitter.

Someone on the micro-blogging site @themichaellohan fired off a series of Tweets that read like a suicide note:

“FIANCE JUST LEFT ME. MY WHOLE FAMILY HATES ME. I SPENT THANKSGIVING WITH MY MOM I JUST CANT DO ANY OF THIS ANY MORE

@LINDSAYLOHAN LOVE YOU. B YE”

The postings have since been erased and the very-much-alive father of actress Lindsay Lohan has denied “Tweeting” any such thing — in fact, Michael doesn’t Twitter at all.

“This is not not not me,” Lohan said in an email Monday. “I do not have and never had a Twitter and Twitter’s corporate office confirms that. My lawyers are investigating.”