The stink has hit the fan in the Land of Labia and Lady-Lovin.
Former Popular actress Tammy Lynn Michaels — the estranged wife of Grammy winner Melissa Etheridge — is fuming after learning that her ex is now dating her former best friend.
And as if that isn’t bad enough, Melissa had the unmitigated gall to purchase a new and improved “boxs of dicks” to use on the new girlfriend.
Tammy breaks it down for us in poetry form after the jump.
The “Come to My Window” rocker is dating Nurse Jackie creator Linda Wallem, who was Melissa’s “best man” at her 2003 wedding to Tammy Lynn, The National Enquirer reports on the pages of its new issue. Tabloid tattles claim the romance began approximately three months after Melissa dumped Tammy with two kids and an empty bank account early last year.
Adding further insult to injury, Linda was in the wedding party with when Melissa and Tammy wed at Dick Clark’s lavish Malibu estate.
“In lesbian terms, Linda was the ‘best lady.’ Now she’s taking Tammy’s place,” a gabby spywitness squealed on the pages of the Jan. 24 edition of The Enquirer.
The new couple, who share the same birthday, both turn 50 on May 29.
“Linda has been talking constantly on the set about how she and Melissa are in love and how they’re in a committed relationship,” the insider added.
While news of Melissa and Linda’s romance may be Old News to the cast and crew of Nurse Jackie, it’s hit Tammy Lynn like a ton of bricks….or in this case, like a box of dildos.
“i moved out november 23rd 2009
she said it would help
i was convinced it would
too and i trusted there was
no one else
i didn’t know
there was someone moving in
as i was moving out
three weeks later a box of new toys
was delivered and her assistant brought
it to my rental house as a mistake
i opened it
and that’s when i felt something was up….
i called her
‘i have your new dicks on my kitchen counter?’
and then i listened to the album
and i understood
you don’t want to work it out
oh you already have someone in the wings
oh you already have pined for another
oh you are done here
oh i have become another one of your exes…”
Melissa and Tammy Lynn announced their split in April 2010 but continue to struggle to work out child/spousal support and custody arrangements for their four-year-old fraternal twins, Johnnie Rose and Miller. Tammy reportedly receives about $2,000 a month in “galimony” payments.
Meanwhile, be on the lookout for a song penned by Melissa to pop up on an upcoming episode of Nurse Jackie, according to tabloid blabs. Linda is also reportedly planning to write a sitcom pilot for Melissa. The show, still in preproduction is described as a “reverse Will & Grace,” would see the singer portraying a lesbian teacher living with a straight man.