In a tell-all interview on the pages of PEOPLE Magazine this week, E! reality star Kourtney Kardashian reveals that she contemplated having an abortion after discovering that she was expecting a baby with on/off boyfriend Scott Disick.

Playboy Scott has been unfaithful to Kourtney in the past, creating issues of trust in their turbulent relationship that left the socialite agonizing over whether having a child was the most wise decision.

“I definitely thought about it long and hard, about if I wanted to keep the baby or not, and I wasn’t thinking about adoption,” says Kourtney, 30, who claims she became pregnant after she “forgot to take the Pill.”

After taking time to weigh all of her options, Kourtney ultimately decided to carry her baby to term and is due to give birth around Christmas.

“For me, all the reasons why I wouldn’t keep the baby were so selfish: It wasn’t like I was raped, it’s not like I’m 16. I’m 30 years old, I make my own money, I support myself, I can afford to have a baby. And I am with someone who I love, and have been with for a long time.”