Twenty-two year old Kellie Pickler first sang her way into the hearts of country fans as a contestant on the sixth season of American Idol back in 2006. But the bubbly Southern blonde says she’s been hiding a crippling battle with depression under her warm smile.

“Everything in my professional life seemed great,” says the former American Idol contestant, 22. “But in my personal life, I was just crumbling.”

Kellie tells PEOPLE Magazine her downward spiral began when her mother, who abandoned her at age 2, suddenly reemerged.

“I was an emotional wreck.”

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