Well, that’s awkward.
In a preview of the season premiere of “LA Ink,” Kat surprises Jesse with a childhood photo of his — that she had tattooed on her side. (Who knew she even had room for one more?)
When she shows it to him, he likes it, saying “you’re crazy” and “I love you.” And then, as if Kat has magical soothsaying powers, she says, “I thought you were going to tell me you were breaking up with me. Just kidding!”
And then everyone in her shop laughed. Hahaha! Because how funny would it be to get a guy’s face inked on your body, only to have him dump you? Hahaha!
Except, yeah, he actually DID dump her earlier this week. Sooo there’s that.
Last time I had my heart broken, I put the guy’s DVD box-sets on eBay and donated his clothes to charity and fed his photos through a shredder. And I cried a lot and drank too much but at least when I was done and over him, I didn’t have to see his 5th-grade portrait every time I took a damned shower. There simply aren’t enough loofahs in the world for that.
Years ago, when Johnny Depp (swoon) and Winona Ryder were engaged, he had “Winona Forever” tatted on himself. After they split he lasered off the “na,” leaving him with the ironic tribute “Wino Forever.” So maybe what our girl Kat should do is add a villainous handlebar mustache to Jesse’s boyhood visage and ink in a damsel tied to some railroad tracks with a train barreling at her that she totally should’ve seen coming the whole time.
In the meantime — Kat, darling, chin up. You singlehandedly created the relationship version of lighting a cigarette to make your food arrive faster.