Justin Timberlake blames celebrity magazines for turning his personal life into juicy scoops of famous poop. (Bring out the violins.)

“I despise what they do. They create soap operas out of people’s lives. … It’s a spin game, and I choose not to take part in it.”

“I would never say anything bad about anyone. I love a lot of those people,” J.T whined.

Here’s an idea, Justin. Quit boning every bitch with Botox and perhaps we’ll stop featuring you as a main entree in our daily scoop of celebrity poop. Are we crystal?