Jack Osbourne Had Sex With Paris Hilton

Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne have revealed that their son Jack is amongst the massive list of men who need to take a trip to the Free Clinic after banging the bejesus out of Paris Hilton.

In a interview with British gossip maven Vic Newton:

Ozzy said: “Paris was always hanging around our house. I’m not sure if she was a friend of KELLY or AMY — which one was it, Sharon?”

Sharon looked a bit sheepish and stumbled over her words as she replied: “She was Jack’s, erm, friend.” Ozzy’s jaw dropped and he exclaimed: “He didn’t shag her, did he? Well done, my son!”