John Mayer is on Rumor Control! The girl-hounding lothario is none too pleased that he is being romantically linked to The Hills vixen Kristin Cavallari.

In a series of four crass posts uploaded to his Twitter page Wednesday, the 32-year-old lothario announced that he has never bumped pelvics with Kristin, writing: “Rumor control: How do I put this like a gentleman… I have never high fived Kristin Cavalari (sic) with my penis.” He later added, “I’m sure she’s a wonderful gal but we have never tasted the Skittles Rainbow together.” He then posted, “My Milli has never slam danced with her Vanilli.”

In closing, John posted, “I have never Bensoned her Hedges, nor have I attempted to Bartle her James…”

Well, that explains that.