Here Are The Best Jokes From Comedy Central’s Roast Of Justin Bieber

On Saturday night the Comedy Central Roast of Justin Bieber was taped at Sony Pictures Studio in Culver City, California. The 21-year-old singer was using the event as a way to show his fans and the general public that he has turned a new, more positive corner, in his career. The event is meant to showcase that Beiber is no longer the troublemaker he recently became, and wants to instead record mature music with a new outlook on life. What better way to turn over a new leaf than to have your famous friends poke fun at your shortcomings. Nothing was off limits, from his personal lifestyle choices to his music, and even his millions of ‘Beliebers.’

Kevin Hart acted as the roast master for the night, and he was quick to go after the singer, telling the famous crowd of onlookers, “Tonight we’re going to give what his parents and the legal system should have done years ago. We’re going to give this boy an ass-whoopin.’”

Hart quickly added, “Ebola patients hear about ‘Bieber fever’ and say, ‘I’m gonna go ahead and ride this one out.’”

Comedian Jeff Ross, a regular of the Comedy Central roast series, had no problem pulling out all of the punches against Beiber: “Seth Rogen thinks you’re a conceited piece of shit, and he hangs out with James Franco.” He then took a jab at Bieber’s on-again, off-again girlfriend, “Selena Gomez wanted to be here, but she’s dating men now. Is it true you dumped her because she grew a mustache before you?”

Here are some of the best jokes from the Comedy Central Roast of Justin Bieber:

Ludacris:  “Justin Bieber wants to be black so bad, he’s actually seen Kevin Hart’s movies in theaters.”

Ludacris Roasts Justin Bieber

Hannibal Buress:  “They say that you roast the ones you love, but I don’t like you at all, man. I’m just here because it’s a real good opportunity for me.”

Hannibal Buress:  “Actually you should thank me for participating in this extremely transparent attempt to be more likable in the public eye. And, I hope it doesn’t work.”

Snoop Dogg: “Congratulations, Hannibal Buress. You are only the Bill Cosby accuser making money off of him.”

Snoop Dogg Roasts Justin Bieber

Ron Burgundy (Played by Will Ferrell): “I always encouraged people to stay classy. And what’s more classy than hanging out with Floyd Mayweather.”

Natasha Legerro: “Justin’s fan are called Beliebers because it’s politically incorrect to use the word retards.”

Shaquille O’Neal may have won the night with this joke: “Justin, as a father of six you have to straighten up, son. Last year, you were ranked the fifth most-hated person of all time. Kim Jong-Un didn’t rank that low. And he uses your music to torture people.”

Shaq Roasts Justin Bieber

Even Martha Stewart offered up some crude advice for the singers future if he doesn’t stay on the straight and narrow. “Justin, you have no idea what you’re in for. I’m sure it’s great to have 60 millions followers on Twitter. But the only place people will be following you in prison will be into the shower.”

JUSTIN BEIBER STRIKES BACK

When it was his turn to flip the tables, Justin Bieber was quick with some funny jokes of his own.

“What do you get when you give a teenager $200 million?,” he said. “A bunch of has-beens calling you a lesbian for two hours.”

Justin Bieber Comedy Central Roast - Best Jokes

It wasn’t all jokes for Justin Bieber, who took the opportunity to apologize for his recent behavior over the last few years. “I turned a lot of people off over the past few years, but I know I can still turn out good music and turn everything all around,” he said. “I’ve lost some of my best qualities. For that, I am sorry. I’m looking forward to being someone who you guys can all look at and be proud of.”

You can watch the full Comedy Central Roast of Justin Bieber when it airs March 30 on Comedy Central.

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James Vanderhoff
James Vanderhoff is a former editor at http://www.popcrunch.com