A barely-clothed Heidi Montag-Pratt will hit newsstands across America this Friday.

Heidi gets dirty — literally — about life as a reality star, her thoughts on plastic surgery, and sex with hubby Spencer on the pages of the September issue of Playboy Magazine.

You may want to break out the Brain Bleach before reading anything that mentions Heidi, Spencer, and sex in the same sentence. You’ve been warned…

Heidi On The Influence Of Playboy: “When I was shopping for my boobs, I wanted the best, so I sat down and flipped through a bunch of Playboys..”

Heidi On Plastic Surgery: “I plan to get a few more upgrades…I’m sure as I get older I’ll need some touch-ups. I’m definitely not done with my surgical quest. I think I want to go bigger on my boobs for [Spencer]….Let’s do [another Playboy photo shoot] again when I get the upgrades.”

Heidi On Her Sex Life With Spencer: “I was never very sexual before I met Spencer…Before [Spencer], sex was just something that happened. Now it’s something I look forward to every minute of the day….I feel as if I’m just beginning to know my body with [Spencer]. [He’s] waking me up to what’s possible, and it makes me want to try every new thing, doing it all kinds of ways – indoors, outdoors, upside down.”