Heidi Montag debuted her Heidiwood clothing line to the world in fashion show live from Los Angeles last Friday night, and let’s just say Heidi’s Forever 21 Meets The Swap Meet-style collection failed to impress the fashion mavens ove at New York Magazine’s The Cut. Literary gems, like “monstrosity” and “panty-line-molesting dresses” are peppered throughout the NY Mag critique, but perhaps this line sums Heidiwood up best:

No self-respecting grown woman should allow herself to be seen in these garments.

Ouch.

It was bad. So bad. To Montag’s credit, she trumpets Heidiwood’s prices of $10 to $60 for any given item — compared to the triple-digit tags on L.C.’s line, that’s a sure sign that she at least she understands her demographic. And yet everything we saw still gave us sticker shock. Paper-thin tanks for $27? Flimsy, panty-line-molesting dresses at nearly 40 bucks? Sure, that’s a steal compared to Marc Jacobs, but not far enough removed from what you’d pay at the Gap for something that’s at least 100 percent cotton and unlikely to give you a rash. When $37 seems exorbitant for a dress, you know you’ve got problems. In fact, it cemented our suspicion that Heidi is turning into Paris 2.0: terrible singer, lame boyfriends, famous mostly for on-camera pouting, and excessively eager to merchandise herself, regardless of actual quality.

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