First there was “Strange Love.” Then Vh1 single-handedly set the Women’s Lib Movement back thirty years with a sixty minute long catfight adeptly dubbed “Flava of Love.” And on Monday, January 8th, the once respectful music network will roll out the plastic runner for the third television installment spawned from the “Surreal” success of former Public Enemy hype man/resident yuck mouth, Flava Flav in the form of “I Love New York.”
In commemoration of what dollars to donuts says will be a cable television stink bomb, VH1 is already running the first episode of the series on it’s website. And if you were thinking off checking it out, don’t bother, here’s the rundown: Twenty guys fight to impress a Sister Patterson, New York’s mother, who really should get back on her meds and a gay Puerto Rican with a penchant for pink named Chamo for a chance at love with America’s Newest Breast Implant Patient and the woman at the center of “Spitgate” from Season One of “Flava of Love.”
New York calls one of the contenders greasy and cock-eyed.
Two brothers arrive to compete over New York
A contestant calls New York “A Little Black Girl-” followed by the diva going into full-bitch mode
“I Love New York?” Rather Be California Dreamin’. And perhaps the funniest thing about this flavorful spin off in this title. The star of reality television’s newest installment, otherwise known as the chain-smokin, bad weave toting Tiffany Pollard, is going to need nappy cornrows, a bird chest, and a lot of gold teeth before “I Love New York” will become the guilty pleasure that was Seasons One and Two of “Flava of Love.” Plus let’s face it, watching a bunch of chicks fight over a guy is just wayyyyyy more entertaining than watching twenty “Barneys” duke it out over a Melrose Place Superbitch. Here’s the 411, Tiff-no one likes you. And if you keep letting Mommy pick your dates for you, you’re going to find yourself even worse off than the old woman in the shoe. But at least she’s milking her fifteen minutes a lot better than Omarosa did.
It’s a sad week for gold diggers nationwide. Tomi Rae Hynie/Brown? went on Larry King Live late last Thursday night to defend her relationship with Soul’s Godfather as well as discuss her treatment since the death of her husband/companion/baby daddy (or none of the above?). Tomi Rae told Larry that she and her five year old son with the singer who died on Christmas Day, James III have been hoisted out of their padlocked mansion and onto their ear. Tomi cried that she wasn’t even allowed to help in the planning of her “hubby’s” funeral:
“Reverend Sharpton said from the pulpit, from the microphone above my husband’s body, that the whole family had a part in arranging this funeral,” Tomi Rae said. “And the whole family did not. Because the whole family ignored me. They never called me.”
So, what’s all the hoopla about? Well, allegedly, the fiery red-head was already married when she walked down the aisle with the dearly departed in 2001. Ten years ago, Tomi Rae married a guy from Texas named Javed Ahmed….and that marriage wasn’t annulled until 2004. Do you see a problem? Well, if T.R’s lucky maybe she’ll get to keep her hat.
And just when it seemed all was quiet with the never-ending RODO scandal-Meredith and Barbara had to go open their traps. Luckily, the Battle of Billions and Bulge restarted just in time for Sunday night’s return of “The Apprentice.” Shocking! It all started early last week when Barbara spoke out in support of her co-host. As if we didn’t know whose side she’d take on this War of the Insults, which has included Donald calling Rosie “a failure,” “a bully,” and “ugly.” After all, this has got to be great for ratings, especially after Donald hurled that “fat slob” comment.
And on Thursday, Meredith thought her “Apprentice” promotion interview with Donald and daughter Ivanka would be a fine opportunity to accuse the Billionaire Currently Known as the Combover of “fueling the fire.” Not a good move, Mere. “When somebody attacks me I attack back. This all started because Rosie didn’t want to give a young woman who had trouble a second chance . . . You have a choice Meredith â€” you can sit back or you can fight and I’m a fighter and I chose to fight. And I think I’ve done a very good job,” the Donald said, before his baby girl (or at least one of them) Ivanka jumped to Daddy’s defense. Blondie accused Rosie’s attacks on her father as “unfair.”
The remainder of the “interview” was split between Donald yelling at Meredith to ask questions about “The Apprentice” and her accusing him of “fueling the fire.” But not before Donald blamed the recent nosedive in “Apprentice” ratings on ex-con Martha Stewart. “Ten million [last season] is a good number and that’s despite the fact that NBC brilliantly ran three of them in one season and one of them was a catastrophe by Martha Stewart, which failed and was taken off the air,” he said. “So that Martha Stewart ['Apprentice'] show really hurt the show.” And it looks like the RODO feud has become a family affair, with Donald’s trophy wife ending the week with an appearance on “Good Day L.A” where she asserts her belief that RO is severely overdue for a therapy session.
If you’re in the market for outdated underwear and couture that’s been in storage for eight years, then Whitney Houston and the folks over at Public Storage have got a deal for you. New Jersey storage company, Speed of Sound, has been storing more than three hundred of the items that made an appearance on pre-crack Whitney’s 1999 World Tour. Apparently, the R&B songstress who brought us the catchphrase known as “Hell to the Naw,” who is in the middle of a divorce with fellow R&B has-been Bobby Brown, owes Speed of Sound a hefty $200,000 in overdue storage bills. On January 9th, the items, which consist of black velvet bustiers, speakers, amplifiers, keyboards, evening gowns, six pairs of stretch pants,a vintage (code name for old) barber’s chair, and sixteen music awards belonging to Whit’s soon to ex will be auctioned off in Irvington, New Jersey to pay the outstanding bill. This is the second financial scare for the songbird who almost lost her six million dollar New Jersey mansion in 2006 after owning more than $200,000 in back taxes. How much do you think Whitney’s thongs will go for?
In other pop news, Page Six is reporting that perhaps Hilary’s relationship with Good Charlotte front man Joel Madden isn’t “so-yesterday.” Hilary was partying in South Beach with big sister Haylie recently and reportedly brushed off anything with a penis that came within forty feet of her. Or perhaps Hil’s just had it with rockers? According to spies, Kevin Connolly of “Entourage” fame tried picking Hilary up for a bit of a booty call and just didn’t seem to read the utter look of boredom permanently implanted on Hilary’s face as disinterest.