On Tuesday, late night host David Letterman revealed his “Top Ten Reasons I Got Married” in a hilarious countdown on the Late Show.

The 61-year-old funnyman jokingly gave the reasons for his headline-grabbing nuptials to Regina Lasko. Letterman married Lasko in a courthouse ceremony last Thursday. They have been dating since 1986 and have one son.

10. Poconos offers newlyweds free room with champagne-glass Jacuzzi.

9. If I’m gonna catch Larry King, I’d better get going.

8. Still drunk from St. Patty’s, dude!

7. She needed a green card.

6. When you’re my age and look like I do, if someone says they’ll marry you, you do it.

5. Don’t have to listen to any more crap from that quack Dr. Phil.

4. I finally fit into my dream dress!

3. Free cake

2. Got tired of waiting for Paris Hilton.

1. Figured at the least we’d get a mediocre Top Ten out of it.