In a stroke of pure genius, David Hasselhoff, while shaving in the gym at the Sanderson Hotel in London, hit his head on a chandelier and broke it, causing shards of glass to rain down on him. Apparently a piece of broken glass severed a tendon in his right arm and he had to go to the hospital for surgery.

I’m sorry, but this story is a big gooey wad of spin. This is like Kate Moss claiming that the coke just fell into her nose when she was doing pilates. Maybe the Hoff is into self mutilation, or maybe he was drunk and really wanted to meet his maker. Either way, it really is the weirdest incident ever.

At least he still has the Germans.