Charlie Sheen “Law & Order: Criminal Intent” Ripped -From-The-Headlines Episode

Charlie out, Jay in. It’s been nearly a year since those famous chimes rang for the final time on television’s Law & Order, but many-a wayward star remains haunted by the “Ripped From the Headlines” episodes that were the show’s calling card — thanks to spinoffs like Special Victims Unit and Criminal Intent.

Criminal Intent will take the tried (tired, depending on who’s telling the story) and try approach in an upcoming episode immortalizing the recent exploits of celebrity trainwreck Charlie Sheen. Jay Mohr will play the Charlie equivalent in a plot that will see several details of Charlie’s effed-up life ever-so-slightly altered to avoid a pesky lawsuit. Mohr will play (the absurdly named) Nyle Brite, a famous and successful “rockstar” fashion designer whose “badboy reputation of cocaine benders and call-girl parties only skyrockets his career and mints him as the ‘lovable rogue,'” producers say. Things turn sour for Nyle when one of his goddesses party guests winds up six feet deep.

Seriously, “Nyle Brite?” We know the L&O franchise has been on television for more than two decades, but surely the writers haven’t exhausted all the plausible-sounding names.

The Sheen-spinoff episode will air this May as Criminal Intent’s 10th season finale.

Check your local listings.