“Crackhead” Charlie Sheen Sex Doll Sold-Out


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It’s comforting to know that even if Charlie Sheen never works in Hollywood again, a promising future in the world of fetish fantasy awaits the sunken-eyed kook.

It was only last Thursday that XXX-rated executives at Pipedream Products — the same adult novelty firm behind sex dolls created with Jennifer Lopez, Beyonce, and Miley Cyrus in mind — introduced Crackhead Charlie, the world’s first “winning” love doll, and in a turn of events ripped straight from an episode of Two and a Half Men, there’s apparently lots of lonely people aching for a little “MaSheen” in their lives.

Even if he is made of latex and filled with helium!

We hear Crackhead Charlie’s being snapped up faster than Lady Gaga t-shirts at a gay pride parade. Sales have even surpassed the expectations of Pipedream CEO Nick Orlandino. According to the boss, the company moved their entire inventory of Sheen Love Dolls in less than 24 hours.

“The Crackhead Charlie doll sold out in one day, the same day we released it. We could of sold more dolls if we had more in stock but they are sold out right now,” Nick said on Monday.

This knee-slapping product description certainly helped: “You don’t have to be a slutty porn goddess to party with this radical rockstar from Mars! Just add air and this neurotic nutjob will show you his two and half personalities, warlock, fangs, fire-breathing fists and Adonis DNA. Don’t be a foolish little troll, experience the bitchin’ drug they call Charlie and let him rock your world!” read the creative copy on the back box cover of the doll’s packaging.

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