Top 10 Insane Celebrity Conspiracy Theories
We have dug through the dark corners of the internet to find the Top 10 most insane celebrity-centric conspiracy theories out there. If you have ever wondered how many celebrities the CIA has killed (Spoilers: at least two, according to many woke internet denizens!) or if Lizard People killed Princess Di (Answer: YES!) then this Top 10 ranking might just tickle your fancy.
And–bonus–you won’t pop up on any government watch lists for researching these conspiracies because we did that for you. Hi, FBI and CIA operatives! We hope you enjoy this Top 10 ranking enough not to send out an unmarked surveillance van to our houses. We also hope that the rest of you non-government readers enjoy it as well; so grab your tinfoil hats and your bug-out bags and let’s dive right in.
10: The CIA Murdered Marilyn Monroe
Marilyn Monroe died of an unfortunate barbiturate overdose. Or at least that’s what the government wants you to think. This insane conspiracy theory claims that Marilyn Monroe was killed by a CIA hitman and her murder was subsequently covered up. There are two main approaches within this conspiracy as to why she was murdered. One postulates that she was killed to protect John F. Kennedy’s political career after their alleged affair.
The other theory claims that the CIA murdered Monroe to enact revenge upon the Kennedy family after their poor handling of the Bay of Pigs Invasion in Cuba. Both of these conspiracy theories hinge upon the popular and widespread
fact belief that JFK and Marilyn Monroe had a little something extra on the side together.
9: The CIA Murdered Bob Marley
In the summer of 1976, Robert Nesta Marley survived an assassination attempt by three gunmen at his home in Hope Road on the island of Jamaica; just five years later, he succumbed to a malignant acral lentiginous melanoma, a form of skin cancer, which originated in his toe. “Supposedly” Bob Marley contracted cancer due to an old football-related injury that he sustained in 1977, but many people on the internet know the real cause of Marley’s skin cancer.
A CIA operative shot an imperceptible and untraceable syringe-dart into Bob Marley’s toe. This dart was filled with a cancer-causing liquid that was developed by the CIA as a part of their Project MKNAOMI program. The Project MKNAOMI program was a CIA program that lasted from the 1950’s through the 1970’s. It was tasked with weaponizing cancer in order to assassinate many “unsavory” Latin America leaders; many of which went on to get diagnosed with cancer, such as Nestor Kirchner, Dilma Rousseff, Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva, Chavez, Fidel Castro, Evo Morales and Fernando Lugo.
8: Lorde is Immortal
The Kiwi performer Lorde was supposedly born in 1996. At least, she claims to have been born in 1996. Is this a valid claim? Probably not. Lorde’s lexicon and mannerisms make strong implications that the singer is actually at least 40-years old. “B-b-but she looks like she’s in her 20’s at most!” we can hear you shouting at your monitor. Well, yes, but that’s because Lorde is an immortal being that has decided to utilize the wisdom, knowledge, and skills that she has accrued over her impossibly long life in order to… have a successful music career.
Okay–to be fair–the title of this ranking is “Top 10 Insane Celebrity Conspiracy Theories.” We never claimed that these conspiracies wouldn’t also be dumb. Despite how silly this entry is, many people actually believe that Lorde is immortal. And we guess becoming a successful singer isn’t the worst thing that Lorde can use her immortality to do.
7: Keanu Reeves is Also Immortal
Keanu Reeves is an immortal vampire. There. I said it. Oddly enough, I’m nowhere near the first to say that, though. Many people think that Keanu Reeves is some sort of immortal vampire. This odd conspiracy theory surround actor Keanu stems from the cases of old portraits of individuals to which Keanu bears a strong resemblance. The people that Keanu supposedly lived as in past eras are Charlemagne (748-814) and Paul Mounet (1847-1922).
But Charlemagne and Paul Mounet both died, right? How could Keanu Reeves have been these two people? Well, Charlemagne’s funeral was rushed and “his” body was buried during cold and inclement weather, which could raise suspicion that it wasn’t Charlemagne’s body that was buried. As for Paul Mounet? He supposedly died in 1922, but his body was allegedly never found. Furthering the evidence that Keanu Reeves is immortal, Paul Mounet was also an actor.
6: Oh, and Nicolas Cage is a Member of the Immortal Club as Well
Lorde and Keanu Reeves aren’t the only immortals out there that are using their immortality to help them ply their finely-honed crafts. Well, for loose definitions of “finely-honed” in some of these cases, I guess. That’s right, good ol’ Nic Cage is also a member of the illustrious Immortal Club. These days, Nicolas Cage is less of a National Treasure and more of an actor that needs to be Gone in Sixty Seconds, but I guess an immortal actor isn’t apt to disappear anytime soon, huh?
This insane conspiracy theory is based on the fact that Nicolas Cage clearly hasn’t aged. Ever. Was he born a fully grown man? Did he just pop into existence as an adult? Is he some sort of Cthulhu-esque horror and we are unable to comprehend his true and terrible form, so he appears to us as a failed actor who only serves as a constant reminder that Fast Times at Ridgemont High is a perfect movie despite Nicolas Cage being in it? Who knows!
Teenage Royal Mutant Ninja… Lizards
Diana, Princess of Wales, died on August 31, 1996, when she was fatally injured in a car crash in the Pont de l’Alma tunnel in Paris. The initial French judicial investigation concluded that the accident was caused by Henri Paul, the acting security manager of the Hôtel Ritz Paris, when he drunkenly loss of control of the vehicle. Princess Di’s death shocked the world and more than 32.1 million UK viewers tuned in to watch the televised funeral at its peak.
The insane conspiracy theory that surrounds Princess Diana’s death is pretty insane, even for this list. Supposedly the Royal Family is actually members of the Illuminati. And are lizard people. The conspiracy theory states that Princess Di found out about the Royal Family’s lizard proclivities and threatened to go to the media and expose them. The Royal Lizards could not allow this and, as such, had Princess Diana murdered in a car “accident.”
4: JonBenéty Perry
JonBenét Ramsey, a child beauty pageant star, was born in Atlanta, Georgia and died in Boulder, Colorado. Her death was ruled as a homicide with the stated cause being “death by asphyxia by strangulation associated with craniocerebral trauma.” The police at the time suspected that JonBenét’s death was caused either by Patsy Ramsey–her mother, who was also a beauty pageant star–or JonBenét’s nine-year-old brother Burke. The police believed that the ransom note and appearance of the body were both staged by the parents in order to cover up the crime.
The conspiracy theory surrounding JonBenét Ramsey that piqued our interest is the popular theory that JonBenét was never actually murdered, but was instead abducted. The people that abducted her, either out of desperation or simply greed, decided to groom her to become a pop star. After many years of grooming, the adult JonBenét Ramsey was ready to take the entertainment industry by storm; as Katy Perry. Yes, there are numerous people online that believe that JonBenét Ramsey grew up to become Katy Perry. This conspiracy theory is so crazy on so many different levels–but you do see the resemblance, right?
3: Stanley Kubrick’s Fake Moon Landing Odyssey
Stanley Kubrick is an excellent director, albeit a pretty insane one. Nobody will argue this. However, many people will claim that NASA hired Stanley Kubrick to help fake the moon landing. If true, that would mean Stanley Kubrick is an even greater film director than previously thought. And, to be fair, we wouldn’t put it past Kubrick to be able to pull off something of this magnitude. This conspiracy theory is actually a little more believable than the other celebrity-centric conspiracy theories in this Top 10 in many different regards.
The United States was in a secret race to the moon with the Soviet Union in the latter part of the 1960’s. The United States wanted to be the first to land a man on the moon and was urged to do so by President Richard Nixon. The U.S. successfully landed Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin on the moon aboard Apollo 11 in July of 1969. Or so NASA would have us believe.
Conspiracy theorists, on the other hand, argue that Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin were both actors paid by the United States government to portray astronauts in this fake moon landing sham. Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin are either national heroes or really good actors; we are, personally, going to go with national heroes–but that could just be us.
2: Paul McCartney’s Doppelgänger
Paul McCartney is the world-famous bass guitarist and singer for the Beatles. McCartney was born in 1942 and has had a prolific career and exciting life. Which sadly ended in 1966 after he died in a horrific car crash in London. This, of course, was news to Paul McCartney when he found out that he had died. This celebrity conspiracy theory tells how Paul McCartney died and was replaced by a look-alike so as to not damage the image of the Beatles and their marketability. Smart move on the band’s part, if true.
This conspiracy theory is great for a variety of reasons. The conspiracy theorists that genuinely believe this think that the Beatles or their marketing manager were able to find someone that 1) looks exactly like Paul McCartney, 2) can talk exactly like Paul McCartney, 3) had all of the mannerisms of Paul, and 4) was as talented as him as well. That’s a lot of boxes to tick off. Paul McCartney’s Doppelgänger was at least a good sport about things though, as he titled his 1993 live album Paul is Live.
1: Tupac, Jim Morrison, and Elvis are all Still Alive and Well
Guess who is still alive! If you said “Tupac, Jim Morrison, and Elvis,” then congratulations! You read the title of this rank, cheater. You would also (probably) be wrong, because–like everything else in this Top 10–this is just a bunch of crazy conspiracy theories.
We lumped these three together because they are all the same, just the names are different. These three theories are also arguably the most well-known and prevalent celebrity conspiracies. According to a variety of credible sources, Tupac and/or Jim Morrison and/or Elvis are all still alive and living out their lives in obscurity.
Why? Various reasons, but the main train of thought on this is they each wanted to live a quiet life out of the spotlight, so these three celebrities all faked their deaths. Each of these celebrities has been supposedly spotted by numerous people over the years. Tupac has been spotted outside of a nightclub (with Beyoncé, no less!), at a basketball game in 2014 and at a Li’l Wayne concert, among other times and places.
Elvis is apparently a homeless man or a background character in Home Alone. Jim Morrison is living in a Paris retirement home, enjoying his golden years. These conspiracy theories always seem to pop up every few years when there is a new “sighting.”
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