“I’m an aspiring standup and I went to the show cause I love Tracy on ‘SNL,’ ‘30 Rock,’ etc. To call it a disappointment would be THE understatement of the century…This was his joke, I kid you not, ‘I bought my wife a glass coffee table so she could shit on it and I could watch from beneath it.’ Um, is that funny? No. It was bad and kinda sad,” one of the walkouts blabbed.

The 30 Rock actor was performing as part of the New York Comedy Festival when he launched into a litany of jokes that apparently crossed the line with several audience members, including this uncomfortable bit about the First Family:

“Obama is really changing the White House, because he and Michelle will have the first presidential sex tape out,” Morgan said from the stage. “Barack probably had Michelle in the window doggy-style. ‘Yes, Mr. President, yes Mr. President.’”

Another witness told the paper: “There was a continuous flow of people getting up and leaving throughout the show.”

He gave this advice to male audience members: “You gotta stick your tongue in her fucking butthole…It’s give and take. If she gagging, you got to toss the salad.”

Morgan took on homosexuality — saying it’s “a choice.”

Of course, not all audience members were offended. Directors Spike Lee and John Singleton, and Morgan’s 30 Rock co-star Jane Krakowski gave a standing ovation.

This chat is definitely not for the young or faint of heart –but we’ll let you judge for yourself.


Playboy: Your stand-up includes a lot of jokes about anal sex. Are you talking about it just for shock value, or are you really a butt fiend?
Tracy: I like fucking ass! Ain’t nothin’ like the butthole. The ass is a delicacy, goddamn it. I’d put hot sauce on it. When you eat the brown hole, that’s when her toes do this. [sticks legs out and curls toes] You got to be willing to do anything to please your woman, to satisfy her. I didn’t invent it. You think I was the first one to think of having anal sex with a girl? Hell, no. I’m quite sure Adam fucked Eve in the ass. In the Garden of Eden he tore her ass up, and she was screaming like a motherfucker.

You’ve said you joined Saturday Night Live “as a puppy and left as a man.” How does working on a comedy-sketch show turn somebody into a man?
I’ve seen Saturday Night Live break people. If you can survive that, you can survive anything in show business. Anything. SNL makes you fucking tough as steel because when you get your sketch cut, there is no explanation. You just take that loss. There were plenty of nights when I appeared only to say good-bye at the end of the show.

Your best SNL characters, such as Brian Fellow and Astronaut Jones, were happy idiots. Do you think ignorance is sometimes bliss?
Ignorance is definitely bliss. It is always better not to know. I take that approach whenever I do stand-up. I think not having too much knowledge keeps you on your toes. I may have an idea of what I’m going to talk about onstage, but I don’t plan it out. That’s the beauty of it. Sometimes I surprise myself.

You frequently refer to SNL producer Lorne Michaels as your Obi-Wan Kenobi. Does he have special powers we don’t know about?
Yeah. Motherfucker took me out of the ghetto. That’s my dude, man. He’s been like a dad to me. I remember when I was on Saturday Night Live my first year and I wasn’t getting much. I was down; I was ready to quit. It was three o’clock in the morning, man, I’ll never forget. Makes me want to cry sometimes when I think about it. I love that man. I love that man. [long pause; starts to cry] I’m sorry, man. Excuse me. [another long pause] Son of a bitch… motherfucker’s good. I remember one time Lorne took me to his office, and he said, “Tracy, you are here not because you’re black. You’re here because you’re fucking funny, man.” [bursts into tears again; wipes face with shirt] Changed my whole perspective. I wasn’t so guarded anymore. I knew white people weren’t so fucked-up. I could’ve fallen into some dark shit, but he wouldn’t let me. I left his office, and I was crying for, like, two hours. It made all the difference to me, not just for my career but for my life. They say every Jewish man is supposed to love one black motherfucker in this life. I’m glad Lorne Michaels chose me.

A lot of SNL alumni try to take their characters to the big screen, not always successfully. Will we ever see Astronaut Jones: The Movie?
I’d never do a movie about any of the characters I did on SNL. That’s just not me. You should see the comedy that’s in my head. I’m gonna put Blanket in my movie, Michael Jackson’s son. I want to do a movie about Blanket as an older man. Your father named you Blanket, what the fuck you gonna do? That’s why motherfuckers grow up and start gangbanging. Motherfuckers in your neighborhood saying, “Yo, Blanket, what’s happening?” He’s 17 years old, what’s he going to say? “Yo, I told you my name’s Derrick! ” He’s got a hard road to climb. Talk about baggage.

SNL’s “Dominican Lou” writes: “I had my finger on the pulse of urban comedy, but when I brought my act to SNL, those motherf***** just felt bad for me…..None of the cast I came up with saw this future for me. No, sir. All I have to say about that is, where’s Chris Kattan now? Where’s Cheri Oteri now? That bitch can’t even get arrested.”

The 40-year-old comedian has been separated from wife Sabina for eight years, The New York Daily News reports. Sabina filed for divorce in 2008.

“I have to divorce him. I still have feelings for him, but the marriage is over.I’m having my lawyer file the divorce papers. I gave him every opportunity since August to stay in the marriage, but he’s failed.It’s terrible that he’s drinking again. He knows he shouldn’t be doing that for so many reasons, his health especially,” she said at the time.

They couple later reconciled after Tracy promised to get a handle on his addiction to alcohol. According to paperwork filed in New York City on Friday, they have been married for 23 years and have three sons together.

“Basically they were divorced without the paperwork,” a friend of the star told the tab. “It seems like he has had a different girlfriend every five months or so. In the past three years, I’ve met three girlfriends.”

Last month, Tracy was nominated for his first Emmy for his role as Tracy Jordan on the NBC comedy.

Saturday Night Live alum Tracy Morgan will host SNL for the first time on March 14.

The first call to the FDNY came at 8:34 AM and flames were under control by 9:03 AM.

According to The Associated Press, the blaze occurred after the 30 Rock comedian’s fish tank ignited in flames due to a blown out lightbulb. The fire then spread to neighboring apartments in The Trump Place building in Midtown Manhattan.

No one was injured, including Tracy, who was not home at the time of the fire. The fish are OK, too, but a lot of other folks were inconvenienced.

The View co-host Sherri Shepherd, who lives in the same building as Tracy–and plays his on-screen wife on 30 Rock–discussed the fire on the ABC morning chat fest on Wednesday.

“There was a fire in my building, right underneath my floor so my entire floor is flooded,” she said. “They said, you gotta evacuate, you gotta get [son] Jeffrey out — so I called up Alejandra [and said] get him dressed and tell him grab all Momma’s hair!”

“He did! My baby knows!” she said. “Can’t leave Momma’s hair!”