How did we miss this?

British royal Prince William debuted a new beard as he attended a church service on Christmas Day at St. Mary’s Church in Sandringham, England.

We’ll leave it up to you: What do you think of Prince William’s beard?

Why Prince William, what are you doing!? Diddling yourself during a game of soccer we see. Actually, we’re not sure what Big Willy was trying to accomplish here, but snapping photogs managed to snag several very clear shots of the British royal’s privates earlier this week for an explosive leak online late Thursday.

NSFW Photos Of Prince William’s Penis After The Jump!
Not bad, we’ve seen better.

Paris Hilton would love to date Britain’s Prince William – but only after the royal gets rid of his “mousy” girlfriend.

The ho-hopping hotel heiress met the future King of England on a recent outing in London and admits that despite being in a “committed” relationship with Good Charlotte rocker Benji Madden, she would totally bang William if the prince didn’t already have a girlfriend.

William has been dating college GF Kate Middleton for nearly five years.

Paris told New! Magazine: “I’d be more than happy to date William – so long as he ditches the mousy girlfriend. I couldn’t believe it when I met him. He was awesome and really hot.”

Paris met the Royal during a night out at London’s Whiskey Mist Nightclub last week.

According to The Mirror, Paris texted William the following day to invite him to a party.

“The royal set find the whole thing totally hilarious and have been encouraging him to go to Vegas for the opening of Paris’s latest venture,” says a source.

“Although flattered by her attentions, William doesn’t think he can justify the jaunt – and has politely turned her down.”

Hollywood socialite Paris Hilton got a fistful of egg in her face when her attempts to dirty dance for British princes were crushed at a London nightclub this week.

Paris is in the British city promoting the UK leg of her reality series, Paris Hilton’s My New BFF. She was partying at the city’s Whisky Mist hotspot when she decided to pester the royals, who were also in attendance.

Prince Harry received the first blast.

“It was quite funny to watch. Harry clearly didn’t want to speak to her but she did a sexy dance in front of him and he finally stood up to shake her hand. He then just wandered off, and Paris looked a bit annoyed,” a spy giggled in Thursday’s edition of the Daily Mail.

Paris later tried her luck with Prince William. She approached his table, and repeated her sexy dancing routine.

Unfortunately for her, the attached William wasn’t anymore receptive to her advances than his kid brother.

Prince William and girlfriend Kate Middleton are being courted for a guest appearance on The Simpsons.

Simpsons co-creator James Brooks says he would love to work with William and Kate and already has a storyline all figured for the appearance; one suggestion is for for Lisa to become Kate’s love rival, fighting to win William’s heart.

Another potential storyline sees Homer winning a vacation to England, stumbling into the royals’ wedding reception after a free meal and subsequently flirting with the Queen.

“I think it would help him connect on so many levels,” Brooks says. “Plus, we plan to do something fun when he does finally get married. Nobody goes away unhappy with the way they’ve been portrayed on our show.”

“William is a huge fan of the show. If it was just up to him he’d jump at the chance. But the rest of the family might take some convincing,” a friend of the dashing royal told the Daily Telegraph Sunday.

“William did quite a bit of acting at school and is used to speaking in public. He’d be a natural,” the friend adds.

British princes William and Harry will attend the World Premiere of the Quantum Solace when the latest installment in the 007 film franchise, starring Daniel Craig, opens in London October 29.

Prince Williams and Prince Harry will attend the premiere in aid of their Royal Highnesses’ chosen charities, Help for Heroes and The Royal British Legion.

Prince William has been secretly calling blue-eyed soul songstress/“Fuck For Tracks” girl Joss Stone.

The twenty-four year old recently singled royal wants twenty year old Joss to perform at the Tribute Concert for Will’s late mom Princess Diana scheduled for July 1 in Britain, according to the rags.

“She thinks he’s gorgeous and is incredibly flattered,” says a source close to Joss.

“Joss is delighted by the fact that Wills is phoning her and they hit it off instantly,” the mole continues. They’ve spent ages talking about which songs she should perform and have painstakingly gone through a list of Diana’s most loved artists. They’ve settled on Queen and Tina Turner and Joss is incredibly honored to be asked to perform them.”

Prince William’s ex-girlfriend Kate Middleton blames William’s father Prince Charles for the couple’s break-up.

The brunette works at UK fashion chain Jigsaw and blurted the reason for the split to worried work colleagues, saying, “It’s because of his daddy.”

Charles is said to have advised his son to ditch his girlfriend unless he planned to marry her, to avoid the mistakes he made with Diana.

Jigsaw co-worker Philip Higgs tattles to the British rags: “Normally, Kate doesn’t talk about anything. She’s very quiet. But it was as if she’d reached boiling point from one sympathetic question too many.”

Britney Spears is writing a letter of support to newly-single Prince William – according to media reports. The divorced singer, who split from husband Kevin Federline last year, sympathizes with the British royal following his high-profile split with Kate Middleton last weekend.

A snitching source tells British newspaper The Daily Express, “She understands what it’s like to have such a high-profile break-up. She has started writing him a note and is going to send it before the end of the week.”