“There are several great reasons why female celebs line up to shoot Playboy: finally a woman gets paid more than a man for comparable work, she gets to set the rules, gets to be in a real team work with other women, as many key positions at Playboy are in fact held by women!”

“She brings in her creative ideas, gets involved in the photo selection and ends up with something she co-created through and through,” the bikini model continued. “The word ‘Playboy’ alone doesn’t exactly give most women a warm, fuzzy feeling, yet many of the Playboy photos end up in the most praised photo and art magazines and in critically acclaimed photo exhibitions….”

On The Jay Leno Show Wednesday night (Click Here For The Video!), the acid-tongued meanie showed off her cover on the magazine’s December 2009 holiday issue, where she appears in a tiny gold bikini.

Sorry guys, you’ll be disappointed to learn that Chelsea won’t be getting naked to show you why her milkshake brought all the boys to the yard — at least not in this issue. The inside photo features the hostess of E!’s Chelsea Lately covered up by an apron and mini dress while preparing a vodka-soaked Christmas meal with her sidekick Chuy.

The tough-talking author and talk-show host says she gave up drinking “for about a day and a half” as she prepared for her debut pictorial in the iconic men’s mag. Chelsea’s male fans may be a little disappointed. The inside photo features the star covered up by an apron and mini dress while preparing a vodka-soaked Christmas meal with her sidekick Chuy.

Joanna previously posed for the iconic men’s publication in July 2005, when she was crowned the sexiest swimsuit model in the world.

This chat is definitely not for the young or faint of heart –but we’ll let you judge for yourself.


Playboy: Your stand-up includes a lot of jokes about anal sex. Are you talking about it just for shock value, or are you really a butt fiend?
Tracy: I like fucking ass! Ain’t nothin’ like the butthole. The ass is a delicacy, goddamn it. I’d put hot sauce on it. When you eat the brown hole, that’s when her toes do this. [sticks legs out and curls toes] You got to be willing to do anything to please your woman, to satisfy her. I didn’t invent it. You think I was the first one to think of having anal sex with a girl? Hell, no. I’m quite sure Adam fucked Eve in the ass. In the Garden of Eden he tore her ass up, and she was screaming like a motherfucker.

You’ve said you joined Saturday Night Live “as a puppy and left as a man.” How does working on a comedy-sketch show turn somebody into a man?
I’ve seen Saturday Night Live break people. If you can survive that, you can survive anything in show business. Anything. SNL makes you fucking tough as steel because when you get your sketch cut, there is no explanation. You just take that loss. There were plenty of nights when I appeared only to say good-bye at the end of the show.

Your best SNL characters, such as Brian Fellow and Astronaut Jones, were happy idiots. Do you think ignorance is sometimes bliss?
Ignorance is definitely bliss. It is always better not to know. I take that approach whenever I do stand-up. I think not having too much knowledge keeps you on your toes. I may have an idea of what I’m going to talk about onstage, but I don’t plan it out. That’s the beauty of it. Sometimes I surprise myself.

You frequently refer to SNL producer Lorne Michaels as your Obi-Wan Kenobi. Does he have special powers we don’t know about?
Yeah. Motherfucker took me out of the ghetto. That’s my dude, man. He’s been like a dad to me. I remember when I was on Saturday Night Live my first year and I wasn’t getting much. I was down; I was ready to quit. It was three o’clock in the morning, man, I’ll never forget. Makes me want to cry sometimes when I think about it. I love that man. I love that man. [long pause; starts to cry] I’m sorry, man. Excuse me. [another long pause] Son of a bitch… motherfucker’s good. I remember one time Lorne took me to his office, and he said, “Tracy, you are here not because you’re black. You’re here because you’re fucking funny, man.” [bursts into tears again; wipes face with shirt] Changed my whole perspective. I wasn’t so guarded anymore. I knew white people weren’t so fucked-up. I could’ve fallen into some dark shit, but he wouldn’t let me. I left his office, and I was crying for, like, two hours. It made all the difference to me, not just for my career but for my life. They say every Jewish man is supposed to love one black motherfucker in this life. I’m glad Lorne Michaels chose me.

A lot of SNL alumni try to take their characters to the big screen, not always successfully. Will we ever see Astronaut Jones: The Movie?
I’d never do a movie about any of the characters I did on SNL. That’s just not me. You should see the comedy that’s in my head. I’m gonna put Blanket in my movie, Michael Jackson’s son. I want to do a movie about Blanket as an older man. Your father named you Blanket, what the fuck you gonna do? That’s why motherfuckers grow up and start gangbanging. Motherfuckers in your neighborhood saying, “Yo, Blanket, what’s happening?” He’s 17 years old, what’s he going to say? “Yo, I told you my name’s Derrick! ” He’s got a hard road to climb. Talk about baggage.

“Yes, it’s changed our sex life — for the worse [laughs]. I am a wild girl in bed and I can”t really be that wild anymore because I have limits now. I have 40 extra pounds in my belly, so I get tired easily,” Kendra laughs in the Nov. 2 issue of Life & Style. “But no, of course, it’’s still great. I have a great man in bed, he definitely knows how to please me. But, yeah, we”ll be better after when we have more energy!”

Do we have to see this?

Tara has struggled with body image — and employment — since she famously underwent a botched liposuction procedure that left that actress horriblly disfigured in 2004. Tattles close to the deal say the actress posed entirely naked for the iconic men’s mag at a private residence in Santa Monica, California on Oct. 7.

Tara had said in the past that she would never pose for Playboy, saying, “I know there are problems with my stomach. There are bumps on it, it’s uneven, but it’s not that bad. My stomach scars are my battle wounds.” An insider describes the out-of-work actress as nervous during the first few shots.

“She was a bit insecure about her body when they first started. She looked great and finally got into the groove.”

We expected more from you, Marge….

Does anyone else find this a little creepy? What’s next, a Homer/Marge Sex Tape? Forget I said that — we don’t want to give anyone any ideas…..

As PopCrunch told you on Thursday, the usually-demure Marge is featured in a three-page pictorial and interview with the iconic men’s mag, in celebration of the 20th anniversary of the long-running animated series The Simpsons.

New Playboy CEO Scott Flanders says the idea is to attract readers in their 20s to a magazine where the average reader’s age is 35.

Several months ago, Hef teased fans about a possible Marge-Playboy collaboration on Twitter.

Now be honest, Crunchers: Will you pick up Marge’s Playboy debut once it hits newsstands?