Do you remember that old proverb? How does it go? Ah — yes: “When a door closes, a window opens.”

Some horseshit like that.

Well, the newly-single Tareq Salahi is learning that when your wife hits the road with a rocker, the endorsement deals start rolling in faster than you can say: “Party at The White House!”

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If Michaele Salahi wants to extend her 15 minutes of fame even further, MarriedWivesClub.com is proposing a way for her to do it.

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It looks like someone won’t be returning home to “Open Arms.” White House party crasher Tareq Salahi has filed for divorce from his adulterous wife, Michaele, after the former Real Housewife humiliated him and ran off with Journey lead guitarist Neal Schon.

Where are those Bravo cameras when you need them?!

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Well, we know where Michaele Salahi is. And perhaps not surprisingly, the ex-Real Housewife wasn’t “abducted,” per the outcry of her husband, Tareq.

She just ran off with a rock guitarist.

Hmmm…this certainly wasn’t the outcome we were expecting. We wagered five bucks that cash-strapped Tareq had pulled a page from the “Book of Lifetime Original Movies” and turned her into fertilizer for his vineyard.

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Where in the world is Michaele Salahi?

The wannabe singer/makeshift socialite/former Real Housewife of DC, who rose to online infamy when she and her husband, Tareq, bogarted their way into a White House State Dinner in Nov. 2009, has been missing from her Virginia home since Monday.

And Tareq is convinced that she’s been kidnapped.

Oh brother….

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