Let the record show: Two of Jon & Kate Gosselin’s brood have been exhibiting anger issues related to their parents’ high-profile divorce last year, but there’s no truth to tabloid rumors claiming that sextuplets Collin and Alexis, 6, were booted from their Pennsylvania private school for acting out.

The Original Octomom appeared on NBC’s TODAY to once again shoot down the expulsion reports, which first surfaced last month.

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It’s no wonder Kate Gosselin’s allegedly feeding her brood week-old sandwiches: The man-crushing Octomom is nearly broke, if new reports are to be believed.

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The next time your Grandma serves fruitcake, brussel sprouts, or a stomach-tossing combination of the two at Christmas dinner, pick up a fork and thank your lucky stars that you don’t live at Kate Gosselin’s house!

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Two of Jon and Kate Gosselin’s six-year-old sextuplets are being homeschooled after they were suspended from their ritzy Pennsylvania private school for brawling.

Thankfully, it’s never too early for a powerful combo of Ritalin and anger management!

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Kate Gosselin has debuted her new body… yet again! The reality Octomom turns up on the cover of PEOPLE this week, rocking a bikini on her trim figure. Gosselin says she’s in the “best shape of her life.” And in addition to her new fit shape, she also hopes a new man is on her horizon!

“This body is all real. These breasts are all mine, “she explained, adding that she’s also never had Botox. “I’m waiting for Mr. Right,” she told the mag. “It would be nice if somebody noticed me, sure! Maybe even after reading all those stories about how horrible and mean I am, somebody will be brave enough to appear, but sometimes I worry I’ve scared the world away. There’s nobody out there who has come forward, and it’s depressing. Where is he? All I can say to this mystery man is hurry it up! Every woman I pass is holding someone’s hand, and that annoys me. I’m lonely, and I need help.”