John tells the December issue of Details: “What do you think is stronger: a dozen press articles that say I’m this guy, or a record with 10 songs on it that you enjoy? Which has greater staying power? At the end of the day, all I owe the world in exchange for my dumb face being in their lives are 10 songs every couple years that are hopefully of greater magnitude than somebody’s press story about me… you’ll walk away from the record liking me a hell of a lot more than you would walking away from an interview.”

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Did you catch John Mayer on TODAY this morning? The guitar-strumming musician dropped by the morning show Thursday to perform a pair of tracks from his current fourth album, Battle Studies

“If you’re shocked that Britney was lip-syncing at her concert and want your money back, life may continue to be hard for you,” Mayer posted on his Twitter account Sunday night.

The “Love Story” singer is a big fan of the rocker but never dreamed she’d get to sing one of his songs.

“I was so excited when he Twitter-messaged me. He was like, ‘Hey, I just wrote this song this morning and I can only hear you singing on it with me. I was like, ‘Yes!’”

Well, he’s slept with half the women in Hollywood — Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Love Hewitt — it’s only fitting he moved on to men. The loins of manwhores don’t satisfy themselves, you know.

“John Mayer was dancing with all the guys,” the Toucan’s regular squealed. “It was around 1AM when his limo pulled up and parked by the restaurant next to the club. He stumbled in — you could tell he was already feeling good…”

Once inside the club, the “Who Says” singer, 32, reportedly got frisky with a few scantily-clad male go-go dancers.

“Some good-looking guy bought him a Corona beer and he immediately started dancing like a wild man when the Black Eyed Peas single ‘I Gotta Feeling’ started playing — it was crazy.”

A spywitness claims he spotted another Twinkie male patron approach John and kiss the rocker smack on the lips — and Johnny Boy didn’t appear to put up much of a fight.

“That’s when the entire place erupted and cheered,” the eyewitness added. “He partied and danced until the bartender called last call. He was smiling and hugging about a dozen guys on his way out.”

Jennifer Aniston’s former Buss Down was recently interviewed by a columnist from New York Magazine, who he tormented for no apparent reason before threatening to sodomize her editor.

And you thought he had no class!

In an interview that took place at the Elle Decor-sponsored Armani/Casa party last week, John tried to liven up his answers to some serious questions. Here are some of the most douche-worthy excerpts from the interview…

What do you think about Obama receiving the Nobel Peace Prize?
I think it’s fantastic…

I don’t think it’s a bad thing, but maybe someone else deserved it more.
Who? If you don’t know who else should have gotten it instead of Obama, I love you, you’re beautiful, but shut your f**king mouth.

What do you think about health care? Would you take the public option?
Have you ever heard me play guitar? I’m really f**king good. You know what I’m bad at? Answering questions about public health care. This is not in my wheelhouse. Do you have any questions about music?

How about a style question?
Yes, this seems to be apropos. Do you get paid for this?

I do it more for fun.
You do this for fun? That’s like me saying … never mind.

What do you think about guys with seventies mustaches?
I don’t give a f**k about who wears their face what way. If I could grow a beard, I’d have some nutty things going on on my face.

You can’t grow a beard?
It’s a pituitary thing. I know you’re not that much of a moron.

These are questions my editor wanted me to ask. I’m trying to build my journalistic career here.
You’re not building a journalistic career. You’re making yourself look like a moron and you’re not a moron. Who’s your editor?

Jada.
Jada is making you sound like a moron in front of people.

Why don’t you tell me about your new album? You’ve been in the studio for a while.
I have a record coming out November 17.

Any particular theme or inspiration behind this one that makes it different from previous albums?
Look what we’re doing right now! We’re connecting right now! This is great! Yeah, it’s going to be quite melodically bright, but the themes are all about heartbreak.

How is that different? Haven’t you written a lot about heartbreak?
I think most artists do, but this is really breaking into the theme of it as a concept.

Is there hope behind the heartbreak?
The melody is the hope. The lyrics are the heartbreak, the melody is the hope. If you have the lyrics being the heartbreak and the music as the heartbreak, your editor made you ask stupid f**king questions! You’re standing in front of me acting as if these questions are fair, but now we’re talking about something real. So there was stuff I wanted to put on the record that just didn’t fit the concept. So the next record will have that concept.

What concept?
More political things, worldly things.

Such as?
Nothing rhymed with public option.

You don’t always have to rhyme, though.
I’m going to forcefully sodomise your editor.

“When I sing it, I do not think about marijuana – I think about walking around your house naked with a guitar. It’s about being in control of the pleasure in your life,” John said of the song in an interview with Rolling Stone.

“Who Says” is confirmed as the first single off of John’s soon-to-be-released fourth album “Battle Studies,” available Nov. 17. The effort is described as “observations and a little bit of advice on relationships … kind of like a heartbreak handbook.”

“I didn’t want to be another notch on his belt,” the 22-year-old told Ryan.

In the past, John Mayer has been romantically linked to Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jessica Simpson, and Jennifer Aniston. Last month, the musician took to his Twitter page to debunk rumors that he was was romancing Kristin, writing:

Rumor control: How do I put this like a gentleman…I have never high fived Kristin Cavalari with my penis.
I have never Bensoned her Hedges, nor have I attempted to Bartle her James.
My Milli has never slam danced with her Vanilli.
I’m sure she’s a wonderful gal but we have never tasted the Skittles Rainbow together.

In a series of four crass posts uploaded to his Twitter page Wednesday, the 32-year-old lothario announced that he has never bumped pelvics with Kristin, writing: “Rumor control: How do I put this like a gentleman… I have never high fived Kristin Cavalari (sic) with my penis.” He later added, “I’m sure she’s a wonderful gal but we have never tasted the Skittles Rainbow together.” He then posted, “My Milli has never slam danced with her Vanilli.”

In closing, John posted, “I have never Bensoned her Hedges, nor have I attempted to Bartle her James…”

Well, that explains that.