Unwed-but-engaged-mom-to-be Jessica Simpson is expanding at an immeasurable rate and her ( formerly) hot body will never be the same.

The 31 year old singer/actress/fashion designer sported a not-so-tiny-black dress on January 6, 2012 at the Pasadena, California event for NBC Universal’s 2012 Winter TCA Tour All-Star Party.  Jess graciously allowed photographers to capture pics of her burgeoning bump and looked…what’s the word?  Effervescent.  That’s it.  Right.  Y’all remember that her “surprise” wedding to baby daddy Eric Johnston was postponed because of the baby, right?

Anyway, no word on when Jess will pop.  She’s keeping mostly mum on when the little bun in the oven will be fully cooked (though hints it will happen this spring.)  That doesn’t bode well for hopping back into a Daisy Duke style bikini in time for summer…if ever, judging from the size of her now.

Not only is Jessica Simpson officially pregnant, but her size already has Gossip Gawkers speculating that the star could be carrying twins.

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Either Jessica Simpson couldn’t get that $500,000 payday she was reportedly looking for to make the official announcement, or she just decided this way would be funnier.

Regardless, the worst-kept secret in Hollywood is out.

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Either Jessica Simpson really needs to lay off the Doritos, or that’s a bun baking in her very famous oven.

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You’ve gotta give it to that Joe Simpson: The guy really knows how to get the most out of a joyous occasion.

And by “most” we mean most money!

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