I guess Hillary Duff (and her crazy rocker boyfriend) is old news. Lindsay is just not getting the same headlines hating on Hillary that she used to. And since she’s ready to pick a fight with just about anyone, she picked the very-much-in-the-headlines Jessica Simpson.

Apparently she sent over a round of champaign to Jessica at a LA night club last week. When Jessica failed to thank Lindsay for the gesture, cattiness ensued and Jessica ended up in tears. Brett Ratner, who has been linked romantically to Lindsay Lohan recently, happened to be there and stepped in to break up the scene.

Is the media just blowing this out of proportion, or is Lindsay so attention starved that she has to pick fights with famous people? Not sure, but it’s given me a great idea to promote myself. Therefore, Anna Nicole, you and me are ON in the Burger King parking lot tonight! Chicken!

My favorite! Don’t get me wrong – I watched and enjoyed me some Newlyweds. The news that they were going to divorce was not welcome, but not unexpected. If I had to pick one guy to have sex with for the rest of my life, it probably wouldn’t be Nick Lachey. But I like his tatoos. But I also enjoyed me some Laguna Beach, and Kristin was the bitch you actually sorta liked but not as much as LC(Lauren) – maybe that was just me. And also, maybe I’m the only person over 18 to watch that show. But I was excited to see the two dating, even if they weren’t REALLY dating. The IDEA of them dating – and of her copying Jessica Simpson’s hairstyle – was juicy.

Also, the idea of Jessica Simpson hooking up first with Bam Majerra (YIKES) and the Dane Cook (HOT) was also juicy. It’s no secret I’m a huge Dane Cook fan (although I have more of a weakness for bald yet hairy Dave Attel – don’t ask) and I’d love for him to really make it Dave Chappelle big. Dating Jessica Simpson would help of course, if for no other reason than photo ops. Even if they are still dating or ever were, I don’t expect it would last long. She wouldn’t laugh at any of his jokes and he punch her in the face and say, “Fuck you shark.”

Well the first reason would be that she’s flipping out throwing shit at people. Campbell has been arrested in NYC for striking her assistant in the head with ‘an object’. Which uncannily resembled a machete. In late March, she was charged and faces up to seven years in jail. She insists in the press that “this is a case of relatiation” and that she is “being extorted.” Two other assistants have claimed that Naomi Campbell threw stuff at them too, so I’m not sure that she has much of a leg to stand on – no matter how she spins it.

Like Tyra, I think it would be helpful if Naomi had a daytime talk show where she could share her deep dark secrets that “she never ever never shared with anyone never ever.” Or she could have a doctor come on and examine her breasts and assure the audience (which included a mortified me) that her breast are indeed real. Ah Tyra.

It might also help if Naomi had a show like Tyra’s “America’s Next Top Model” where she can belittle wafer-thin Kate Moss wannabe’s every week. Very therapudic. Especially when your ass is so fat you can’t model anymore, your acting career tanked – reality TV is really your only option. What does this have to do with Naomi Campbell? Very little.
I just think it’s funny when supermodels get fat.

I love when the crazies fight.
Rosemary’s baby mama Mia Farrow, now 60, has publicly renounced her relationship with adopted daughter Soon-Yi Previn – you know, the one that stole her husband Woody Allen. Farrow split with Allen – 14 YEARS AGO – in 1992 after discovering his affair with their adopted daughter. Farrow said she is finally ready to move on after the heartbreak. So she’s going to pretend Soon-Yi is dead. “It’s easier to mourn her loss and move forward than to live with, ‘Every time the phone rings, will it be her and what will we say and how will we deal with it…?’ She’s gone.”

Farrow took things a step further recently by accusing Soon-Yi of gold digging.
Farrow said, “She was on the streets in Korea when she was captured and brought to the state orphanage. And in a way I can see from her perspective – a very limited perspective – that she’s improved her situation. She’s got the penthouse and the seat at Elaine’s (New York restaurant) or, whatever I had, she has.” Nothing like a little mud slinging to prove that you’re so over it.

I can’t wait for Soon-Yi to respond.
Oh wait. She doesn’t talk. EVER.