I don’t know why I even care.
But when I read the headline ‘Jessica Rethinks Divorce Plans,’ I made me happier than a plate full of chicken wings.
I guess it’s the whole Newly Wed effect. I was there with everyone else watching their nutty marriage (or the part of it they allowed us to see). In any case, I was crushed to find that the headline was just a (very successful) ploy to get me to ‘click here’. In reality, Jessica just wants to change judges because she thinks the current one is ‘biased.’ As is common in Hollywood, they will likely seek a private judge. Curses!
I can’t say it’s the first time I’ve been emotionally invested in a Hollywood couple. I think the first one I took really hard - back in Jr. High - was Billy Joel and Christie Brinkley. She was his uptown girl, for chrissake. After that it was Kim Bassinger and Alex Balwin, and years later Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston. Such a bummer.
I’m not sure why it’s so important that these relationships hold together when they rarely do for us garden variety folks. But it’s the dream I guess. I like the idea of pretty people in pretty houses having pretty relationships. And sex like porn stars.

Ah, Angelina Jolie.

I don’t think anyone can say they aren’t fascinated in some way by this unpredictable, neurotic and hot actress. Chicks want to be her and guys want to do her. And while Hollywood.com has named her ‘Entertainer of the Year,’ it’s been her private life that most people find fascinating.

One minute she’s sucking on Billy Bob’s tonsils, the next minute she’s adopting a Cambodian child.

One minute she tounging her brother, the next minute she’s the goodwill ambassador to Thailand.

Never a dull moment!

Now, amidst the whole Brad Pitt fiasco, current tabloid headlines are claiming that Pitt and Jolie have gotten married and that Angie may be pregnant. And her appearance on ‘Inside the Actors Studio’ on Bravo this year was FASCINATING. Here was a woman who knew she was on the hot seat, but remained poised and gave honest answers. James Lipton only asked her about Brad Pitt professionally, but she smiled broadly as if to say ‘Here we go!’ and spoke a little too revealingly about her respect for him as a man and an actor.

Despite her irratic/creepy behavior and Pitt’s destroyed marriage to Jennifer Aniston, I admire Jolie. It seems to me that having grown up in show business she’s been seeking sure footing. Now as a 30-year-old woman, I see a genuine desire to be and do more than her celebrity. I don’t think anyone can predict what the next year will bring for Ms. Jolie, but it’s bound to be entertaining and maybe even inspiring. So lets all raise a glass, tounge our brother and toast Angelina Jolie!

Nothing brings that warm, holiday glow more than another installment of the Michael Jackson drama.

On this week’s episode, Mike on the verge of losing his Neverland ranch and his 50% share of the Beatles song catalog. In true form, Mike’s wacky couch surfing friends - ‘the lawyers’ - come to his rescue. They assure the press that an extension of some sort will be filed, giving our little Mikey a chance to make good on the big-ol’ $200 million loan he used to purchase the catalog.

I haven’t seen the ending of this one, but I expect it resolves itself finally when Mike sells 27 of his marble urns, a life-sized Jolly Green Giant and a small hispanic boy.

When I heard the news, I pictured Paul McCartney jumping up and down like al little demon, rejoicing that that little ‘Hard Days Night’-stealing mo-fo was finally getting what he deserved. Me, I don’t take sides… but like many people, I sit back with a bag of popcorn during a train wreck.

Check out the Reuters story here.

See creepy Michael Jackson photos here.