“She looked like Rachel Zoe gone horribly wrong!” he chuckled when quizzed about about the Queen of Pop’s subdued look at the 2009 MTV VMAs last weekend. “It proves the point that you can judge a person by the company they keep — or don’t keep,” he added.

“It’s painfully apparent that Jesus may be able to turn water into wine, but your basic blow dryer eludes him.”

Demi Moore once squirted her breast milk at lesbians during a night out on the town.

Madonna’s brother Christopher Ciccone claims the Striptease actress was partying with him when she displayed the uncanny ability.

“We went out and Demi was dancing up on me and humping me from behind. The one part that’s not in the book is that she was lactating at the time and she was squirting breast milk at my lesbian friends,” says Christopher Ciccone, who recently released his tell-all book Life with My Sister Madonna, revealed to Out Magazine.

“It was hysterical. There are no pictures of it but it actually happened. The lawyers didn’t think it was wise for me to print that – so there’s your juicy titbit!”

Scorned celebrity sib Christopher Ciccone still has a bone to pick with his pop legend sister. Madonna’s bro has started a blog to dish delicious morsels of dirt on Madge that failed to make it into his New York Times Best-Selling tell-all, Life with My Sister Madonna.

Visit Chris’ Blog

Maybe Madonna isn’t that bent out of shape over her estranged brother’s “tell-all book” after all.

According to a hot Sunday morning scoop from the New York Post, the multiplatinum-selling singer ghost-wrote parts of the book along with brother Christopher Ciccone.

The NY spy claims the release of Chris’ book, reports of a rumored affair with slugger Alex Rodriguez, and whispers of the Material Girl’s marriage meltdown are all apart of an elaborate publicity stunt to sell tickets to the singer’s Sticky & Sweet Tour.

“The supposed scandal about Christopher Ciccone’s book is bullshit,” an insider revealed to the Post. “All of this was created to sell tickets for her tour, which hasn’t been selling so well.”

“She actually ghost-wrote parts of it with him, the way Princess Diana helped Andrew Morton write his book on her. That’s why there’s nothing too devastating in Chris’s book. He’s mean to others but not so much to his sister.”

Spotted At

Christopher Ciccone was a guest on E!’s Chelsea Lately on Wednesday where the scorned sibling dished on his tell-little book Life With My Sister Madonna, which has received a lackluster reception from book buyers.

Part II of Good Morning America’s tell-all interview with Madonna’s brother, Christopher Ciccone. Chris’ unauthorized biography, Life With My Sister Madonna, is available now.

Part I of Christopher Ciccone’s GMA Interview

Madonna’s younger brother, Christopher Ciccone, discussed his tell-all, Life with My Sister Madonna, on Monday’s Good Morning America. The explosive book goes on-sale internationally this Tuesday.