The sixth season of American Idol kicks into high gear on Tuesday. And what better time for A.I’s resident wise ass to insult an American music icon.
Simon “That Was Absolutely Ghastly” Cowell appears in the February issue of Playboy-don’t worry, he keeps his shorts on. S.C took the opportunity to insult legendary folk singer/activist, Bob Dylan:
“Do I prefer Kelly Clarkson’s music to Bob Dylan’s? Yes. I’ve never bought a Dylan record. A singing poet? It just bores me to tears.” And since we all know Simon so well, it should come as no surprise that he just wouldn’t stop talking until he had stuck his entire head into his ass:
“I’ve got to tell you, if I had 10 Dylans in the final of ‘American Idol,’ we would not be getting 30 million viewers a week. I don’t believe the Bob Dylans of this world would make ‘American Idol’ a better show.”
Sorry Sim, but if ten Bob Dylans chanting “The Times They Are A-Changing” on A.I still meant watching Paula do the drunk “seal clap” while crying over random shit, then chances are you’d still be racking in the ratings.
In other “What the fuck” news of the day, Paula Abdul has been telling snitches in NYC that Simon “That Was Absolutely Dreadful” Cowell was her rock during the 2005 A.I scandal that accused Paula of banging the bejesus out of Corey Clark. You know that cutie biracial dude, with a singing voice that could scratch chalkboard, from Season II. Dollars to doughnuts says he blew somebody’s back out (screwed) to get past the auditions.
“I have to be honest about Simon,” Abdul told a New York publication on Tuesday. “There’s the times when he’s like a big brother – or a lover. He was extremely distraught and protective and supportive of me when that happened.” If there was ever any question that this chick’s sipping more than Coke out of that red cup in front of her during the show, comparing Simon Cowell to a “lover” removes all doubt. What the hell?
Ok-he had your back. We get that. But you compare the guy to a big brother or a dear friend-not a lover. Simon’s concerned about ratings tanking as a result of the male contestants tapping Paula’s ass-allegedly. So sorry Paul, Simon wasn’t being protective of you-he was protective of his job and seven figure paycheck.
For someone whose been in the biz twenty plus years, you’d think P.A would have learned a little bit more about P.R. Slips of tongue like this will get another A.I scandal started faster than she can say “Rum and Coke, please.”
Is it just me or do the commercials for Season 6 of American Idol starting in January of 2007 just totally suck. In the previous 5 seasons of Idol, the commercials actually did their job at making me want to watch. But so far, the American Idol commercials have been total duds.
Or am I missing something? Seriously. I’d love to know that I’m wrong, but so far, the commercials I’ve seen have shown people singing that are totally mediocre. Not great. Not terrible. In other words, I’m not sure what the point of showing them has been? They hit some notes and miss some notes. Ok. Big deal. That’s normal. I want to see some clips of some of the real talent and also some clips of the total losers who should know better than compete in a singing competition.
Let’s think about it a little. Why do we watch American Idol? Well, because we love to hate the terrible singers and because we love to help pick out the hidden talent. Then of course there are the cinderella stories.
But so far, the American Idol commercials for season 6, which begins in only a month, have been lifeless and hapless, giving me very little to look forward to.
Even the people who hate “American Idol” know the stars of it – Clay Aiken, Ruben, that guy who sings in Ford commercials. But perhaps nobody has stolen our hearts more than Kelly Clarkson – and why not, she’s completely adorable. But behind that “Since U Been Gone” sheen, it seems there’s a burgeoning rock girl.
Just watch this video. At a Los Angeles performance by kitsch metal cover band Metal Skool, the band members spot a not-so-sober Clarkson, and her puppy Ryan Key. From there, they are egged onto the stage, where after a few jovial come-ons they suggest Clarkson should sing. Key takes this as his invitation as well … but not before they both chug-a-lug a little whiskey straight from the bottle.
What results is the most bizarre and glorious version of the Guns ‘n’ Roses classic “Sweet Child of Mine.” Warning that the language is a little rough at times, so if you’re at work, at least put in some headphones.
In a recent interview with Fashion Rocks (a supplement of Vanity Fair) Justin Timberlake made his opinion of American Idol winner Taylor Hicks clear. He’s, well.. not a fan.
“People think he looks so normal, and he’s so sweet and he’s so earnest, but he can’t carry a tune in a bucket,” Timberlake said. He added, “If [Hicks] has any skeletons whatsoever, if God forbid, he’s gay, and if all these people in Mississippi who voted for him are like [then he takes on a thick southern accent], ‘Oh my god, I voted for a queer!’ It’s just too much pressure.”
Ouch! I guess Timberlake’s reached that point of success in his career where he feels comfortable openly criticizing others. I couldn’t help but laugh though… that tune in a bucket insult gets me every time.
The Emmy nominations have been announced and, much to my pleasure, Desperate Housewives was pretty much shut out, except for a nod to Alfre Woodard for Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy. Since DH is one of the most overrated shows on television, this doesn’t bother me much. Here are the nominations:
Outstanding Reality Show (Competition)
The Amazing Race
American Idol
Dancing with the Stars
Project Runway
Survivor
Outstanding Reality Show
Antiques Roadshow
The Dog Whisperer
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List
Penn & Teller: Bullshit Read the rest of this entry »
In news absolutely no one cares about, Taylor Hicks’ first crush has finally been FOUND!! I didn’t know she was lost. Oh well.
Apparently this chick was the first object of Taylor Hicks’ affections. If you don’t mind, I’d rather refer to her as The Luckiest Woman Alive. I mean, seriously. Look at this guy.
People writes:
Just two weeks after American Idol winner Taylor Hicks told PEOPLE about his very first crush, the magazine received a call from the object of his affection, Christy Lee Worsham.
Now 32 and a stay-at-home mom, Worsham tells PEOPLE in its new issue, “I don’t think I realized how big his crush was until I read about it.”
But Hicks, 29, never forgot about her. “I was in the second grade; she was in the sixth,” he told PEOPLE. “To a certain degree, I still like older women. I’ve dated more older women than younger women.”
“He was such a fun kid,” Worsham recalls, and adds that she wouldn’t mind catching up with the Soul Patrolman. “I’m married,” she tells PEOPLE. “But I’d love to reconnect. He was like a brother to me.”
“American Idol” runner-up Katharine McPhee struggled for years with bulimia before seeking help, the singer said in an interview published Thursday.
At her worst she would throw up as many as seven times a day, putting her singing career in jeopardy.
It was like “putting a sledgehammer to your vocal cords,” McPhee told People magazine in an interview published on its Web site.
Attempts to reach McPhee Thursday were not successful. Phone numbers for her, her family or her publicist could not immediately be located.
McPhee, 22, told the magazine she sought help last fall after successfully auditioning for “American Idol.” She enrolled in an eating disorder center in Los Angeles and spent three months in therapy.
“Growing up in Los Angeles and spending all those years in dance class, I’d been conscious of body image at a young age, and I went through phases of exercising compulsively and starving myself,” she said. (via)
What is up with girls and their constant desire to puke? It’s so fucking gross and makes them really ugly. It’s as much a disease as masturbation. Get over it girls. What’s next we are going to find out Taylor Hicks is really the lost brother of Jay Leno, and he’s gay too?
American Idol Stud Taylor Hicks was named America’s Hottest Bachelor. I’m sure it’s a typo. I’m just not getting any response back from People Magazine yet.
His ex-girlfriend had some comments:
Taylor Hicks was a charmer even when he was a high-school junior. Just ask Brooke Kelley Campbell, who dated the American Idol star and took him to her senior prom at Hoover High School in Birmingham, Ala. “Taylor was a fashion guy and he wanted to make sure that he matched my gloves and all that,” recalls Campbell, now 29. “My dress was green, and his tux was like a crisp green and navy plaid.”
Is it just me or do the commercials for Season 6 of American Idol starting in January of 2007 just totally suck. In the previous 5 seasons of Idol, the commercials actually did their job at making me want to watch. But so far, the American Idol commercials have been total duds.
In a recent interview with Fashion Rocks (a supplement of Vanity Fair) Justin Timberlake made his opinion of American Idol winner Taylor Hicks clear. He’s, well.. not a fan.
