Cartoon Characters and the Drugs They Abused

Whether it’s “South Park”, “Family Guy”, “The Simpsons”, or even old-school throwbacks like “Scooby Doo”, cartoon characters are known for having some pretty odd behaviors. While these random quirks and idiosyncrasies might seem to reflect the sense of humor of the scriptwriters, perhaps something else is responsible – drugs! Following are ten widely popular cartoon characters and the drugs that might explain their attitudes, appearance and behaviors.

Goofy

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The Drug: PCP

Goofy is best known for his wacky and excessively happy go lucky demeanor, always peppering conversations with his trademark “ya-huck!” and livening up the mood of those around him. However, Goofy’s moronic personality goes beyond mere stupid optimism and it would not be surprising if PCP (a drug commonly referred to as “rocket fuel”) had a role to play in his impulsive nature. Maybe that would help this idiot savant’s occasional superhuman strength as well…

Shaggy & Scooby Doo

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The Drug: Marijuana

What’s the drug of choice for the hippie and the dog that are always hungry? It’s hard to imagine anything other than marijuana being the culprit here, with Scooby’s constant hunger for snacks being the one constant of every single episode. For that matter, Shaggy (with his stoner van as the group’s primary transportation) seems like a stereotypical burnout himself. What is not conveyed through the cartoon is that Shaggy actually lives in his van, is occasionally employed, and is 32 years old.

Smurfs

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The Drug: Magic Mushrooms

Famous for living inside mushroom-shaped homes, the Smurfs could hardly be blamed for – ahem, experimenting with their natural habitats. (Besides, what else could explain something so ill-conceived and awful as the “Smurfs on Ice” abomination?) Leave it to the Belgians to come up with a cartoon centered around blue midgets that love to trip balls.

Care Bears

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The Drug: Acid

Acid trips are known for producing vivid and outrageously colorful images, fanning the flames of fantasy-driven imagination. So it makes perfect sense to assume that the Care Bears, who populate a world of rainbows, fluffy clouds, and talking stars who hand out colored eggs, might be on one big ongoing acid trip. I mean, interacting with stars is just not normal (above).

Road Runner

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The Drug: Crystal meth

It would be tempting to ascribe the Road Runner’s speed-demon tendencies to traditional stimulants like cocaine or speed, but this would neglect the local drug culture of Road Runner’s western locale. Everyone knows the desert is “Meth Country.” This regional favorite (also known by its less-sexy name of “crank”) seems like a solid explanation for what fueled Road Runner’s need for speed all those years!

Pepé Le Pew

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The Drug: Ecstasy

The smooth-talking Pepé Le Pew is best known for his lady-chasing ways, dropping slick one-liners and making passes at any females he comes across. Perhaps Pepe’s turbo-charged libido can be traced back to ecstasy, a fast and thrilling drug known for skyrocketing sexual desires. (Of course, as Pepé demonstrates, merely having a higher-than-normal sex drive is no guarantee of satisfying it!).

Droopy Dog

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The Drug: Oxycontin

We all get into depressed moods from time to time, but when it lasts for months or years (decades?!) on end, one begins to suspect other causes. The notorious pain-killing depressant Oxycontin sure seems to explain Droopy Dog’s persistently pessimistic, passive, and downtrodden attitude toward life.

Brian Griffin

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The Drug: Alcohol

It didn’t take much detective work to trace Brian back to his drug of choice: booze. Those in doubt are encouraged to run a Google Images search, where you will find that 9 out of 10 pictures of Brian show him with a cocktail glass in his hand. This combined with his frequent pleading of “whose leg do I have to hump to get a dry martini around here?” make it quite clear which controlled substance Brian enjoys most!

Speedy Gonzalez

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The Drug: Speed

If you thought there wasn’t room for two speedsters in one article, think again! Speedy Gonzalez joins the Road Runner as another stimulant-hoarding speed freak, this time relying on (big surprise) speed. His favorite stimulant is necessary in helping him to sprint up, down, and every which way in “Looney Tunes” and silver screen hits like Space Jam.

Yogi Bear

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The Drug: Peyote

A true outdoorsman’s cartoon character, it would only be fitting that Yogi Bear indulged in a true outdoorsman’s drug – peyote. The psychedelic drug is found only in deserts, requiring Yogi to travel a bit further than the confines of his friendly forest. But as he is so found of telling us, Yogi is smarter than just “the average bear.” But seriously, what other drug would make one live in a cave and be completely consumed with stealing magical picnic baskets?

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