Arsenio Hall Launches Campaign to Purchase Los Angeles Clippers

Word on the curb is Oprah Winfrey is partnering with some very deep-pocketed pals in a bid to purchase the Los Angeles Clippers franchise from scandal-scarred (and banned) NBA owner Donald Sterling. If late-night host Arsenio Hall has his way, however, the Queen of Talk could find herself in a most unlikely bidding war.

See, Arsenio is also interested in purchasing the Clippers. Never mind that he’s about a billion bucks shy of the probable asking price.

(“I lost all my money betting on the Lakers this season!”)

He’s been hitting his guests up for donations for weeks, but on Monday’s edition of The Arsenio Hall Show the funnyman attached to the longest fingers in late-night formally announced his own “Clipstarter” campaign (titled ClipGoGo) to raise the required $1 billion.

Arsenio has promised some very impressive perks to those generous enough to fork over fistfuls of dough. A $50 donation will get donors a retweet from Arsenio himself. For a $35,000 donation, Arsenio will get your name tattooed on his back (only temporarily) and show it off on the air. A $100,000 donation will earn benefactors a spot on Arsenio’s couch as his on-air sidekick for an entire show.

In the (unlikely) event that Arsenio does not meet his $1 billion goal, he’s promised to turn over all donations to the NAACP.

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